Finding Faith Following Fundamentalism

Thought Stopping Clichés

Abstract/TL;DR: Thought-stopping clichés are used to shut down critical thinking and discourage questioning in various contexts, including religious settings. They can limit understanding, reinforce conformity, and hinder personal growth. It is important to respond to these clichés with kindness, respect, and thoughtful engagement. Encouraging further explanation, sharing personal beliefs, asking thought-provoking questions, offering examples, and finding shared values can foster meaningful dialogue and promote open-mindedness.

First things first, let’s get the disclaimer out of the way…

Disclaimer: As I discuss thought stopping cliché s, it is important to note that I hold a personal belief in the power of God and the significance of prayer. However, I also firmly believe in the value of critical thinking and actively engaging in problem-solving. While faith and prayer play a vital role in my life, I recognize the importance of balancing spiritual guidance with intellectual exploration. The purpose of exploring thought stopping cliches is to encourage a thoughtful and balanced approach, where faith and critical thinking can coexist harmoniously. It is my intention to promote a nuanced perspective that embraces the benefits of both spiritual beliefs and rational examination in navigating life’s challenges and seeking personal growth.

As you can probably tell from the length of this post, I have been reflecting on and working through these thoughts for quite some time now. Not only have I personally experienced the effects of these phrases being used against me, but I have also been guilty of using many of these clichés in the past. Learning about thought stopping clichés has truly been eye-opened for me.

First let’s talk about what is a thought stopping chiché. A thought stopping cliché refers to a brief and often repeated phrase or slogan that serves as a mechanism to shut down or dismiss critical thinking, doubts, or exploration of alternative perspectives. These clichés are designed to halt further inquiry or questioning, maintaining the status quo and discouraging individuals from challenging established beliefs or practices. By invoking these clichés, individuals or groups can manipulate others’ thoughts and control the narrative, effectively stifling independent thinking and reinforcing conformity. Thought stopping clichés can be powerful tools for influencing and shaping perceptions, often used in high control environments or to discourage dissenting opinions.

Thought Stopping Clichés | lookingjoligood.blog

Secondly, let’s talk about what is a high control environment: A high control environment refers to a setting where there is a significant degree of influence, manipulation, and restriction on individuals’ thoughts, behaviors, and choices. In such environments, there is often a central authority or group that exercises control over its members, dictating their beliefs, practices, and even personal lives. These environments can be found in various contexts, including religious, political, or social groups. High control environments typically employ tactics such as strict rules, intense surveillance, information control, isolation from external influences, and the use of thought-stopping techniques to maintain conformity and discourage critical thinking. The goal of a high control environment is to exert power and influence over individuals, often at the expense of their autonomy, individuality, and personal freedom.

In high control groups, thought stopping clichés are utilized as a means of control and manipulation. These phrases are the answers given whenever they encounter thoughts or doubts that challenge the group’s beliefs or teachings.

Here are a few examples of thought-stopping clichés commonly used in everyday situations:

“It is what it is.” This phrase is often employed to dismiss or avoid further discussion or analysis of a situation. It implies a sense of resignation and discourages seeking solutions or understanding. While some situations cannot be changed, using, “It is what it is.” to shut down a discussion is a thought stopping tactic.

“Just think positive!” This cliché is often used to oversimplify complex emotions or challenges. While optimism and positivity are important, this phrase can dismiss genuine struggles and discourage exploring deeper issues.

“Don’t rock the boat.” This phrase is used to discourage questioning or challenging the status quo. It suggests that maintaining harmony or avoiding conflict is more important than addressing underlying issues or seeking meaningful change.

“That’s just the way things are.” This thought-stopping cliché implies that certain circumstances or systems are unchangeable or beyond our control. It discourages critical thinking and overlooks the potential for progress or improvement.

“Happiness is a choice.” While there is truth to the importance of mindset, this cliché oversimplifies the complexity of emotions and personal circumstances. It can dismiss genuine struggles or difficulties that people may be facing.

These thought-stopping clichés serve as shortcuts to avoid deeper examination or critical thinking. While they may provide temporary comfort or ease, it is important to recognize when they limit our understanding or hinder progress.

In religious contexts, these thought-stopping clichés aim to reinforce faith, trust, and submission to religious authority. They discourage critical examination of religious teachings or experiences, promote reliance on supernatural explanations, and discourage personal responsibility or problem-solving. By repeating these phrases, religious groups can maintain a sense of control over their members’ beliefs and actions.

Here are some religious thought stopping clichés that I have personally been told:

stop sign| lookingjoligood.blog

“Just have faith.” This thought stoppingcliché is often used to discourage questioning or doubt within religious or high control groups. When members encounter challenging or conflicting thoughts, they are encouraged to dismiss those concerns and rely solely on faith. The phrase implies that having faith is sufficient, and further examination or critical thinking is unnecessary. By using this cliche, high control groups seek to suppress individual doubts and maintain unwavering adherence to their beliefs.

“You just need more faith.” Ah, yes, the cure-all solution for any lingering doubts or uncertainties. When faced with logical inconsistencies or challenging concepts, just tell yourself that you’re lacking faith. Because obviously if you are not getting what you want it is because you don’t have enough faith. While, yes, faith is the substance of things hoped for, it is often used as the magical ingredient that can make any irrational belief seem perfectly reasonable.

By suggesting that a person’s struggles or doubts are solely due to a lack of faith, this phrase can dismiss their valid concerns and emotions. It undermines the complexity of their experiences and implies that their challenges would be resolved if they simply had stronger or unwavering faith.

“God works in mysterious ways.” It is often uttered to explain or justify events that seem inexplicable or contradictory within religious contexts. This thought-stopping cliché suggests that the workings of God are beyond human comprehension, discouraging further inquiry or critical examination.

By invoking this phrase, people may dismiss the need for understanding or questioning, relying instead on blind faith and acceptance. While it can provide comfort or a sense of surrender in the face of uncertainty, it also runs the risk of discouraging critical thinking. By emphasizing the mysteriousness of God’s plan, church leaders can cultivate a sense of dependency on their guidance. Congregants may be led to believe that only through the leaders’ interpretations and teachings can they hope to understand God’s mysterious ways, reinforcing their reliance on the church and its authority figures.

“God’s ways are higher than our ways.” This cliché is often used to dismiss or discourage questioning of religious doctrines or practices that may seem contradictory, unjust, or difficult to understand. It suggests that human understanding is limited compared to the divine, and therefore, it is inappropriate or futile to challenge or question God’s actions or teachings. By using this cliché, religious groups can reinforce the idea of divine authority and dissuade critical examination or intellectual curiosity. By asserting that God’s ways are beyond human comprehension, church leaders position themselves as the sole interpreters of God’s intentions and actions. This can create an environment where congregants are expected to unquestioningly follow their guidance, reinforcing the leaders’ authority and minimizing dissent.

“Let go, let God handle it.” This cliché is often employed to divert attention away from problem-solving or taking personal responsibility. Members are instructed to rely solely on trusting that a higher power will resolve their issues or concerns. It discourages people from actively seeking solutions or making informed decisions, instead promoting a passive approach where one relinquishes control to an external authority. While trusting God to handle situations is important, by using this cliche, high control groups can exert influence over their members’ decision-making processes and reinforce dependency on the group’s teachings.

“Leave it in God’s hands.” This cliche is similar to “let go and let God”, it’s often employed to discourage active problem-solving by urging congregants to rely solely on divine intervention. It implies that one should surrender their concerns or worries to God and trust that everything will be taken care of according to His plan. By using this cliche, religious groups can assert control over their members’ decision-making processes and dissuade them from taking independent action or seeking practical solutions outside of the church framework.

“Pray harder, and God will answer.” While prayer is an important part of faith, this phrase suggests that the outcome of prayers is directly related to the intensity or frequency of prayer. It can place undue pressure on individuals and oversimplify the complexity of divine intervention or personal circumstances. By suggesting that the level of a person’s prayers determines the response from God, this phrase places the responsibility solely on the person. It may imply that if their prayers are not answered, it is due to their insufficient efforts or lack of dedication, rather than considering other factors or external circumstances.

“God won’t give you more than you can handle.” While yes “I can do all things through Christ who give me strength” (Phil 4:13) This cliché is frequently invoked in times of hardship or suffering to provide comfort and reassurance. It suggests that any challenges or trials faced are within their capacity to endure, thanks to God’s support and strength. Life’s challenges are often multifaceted and can surpass an individual’s capacity to handle them alone. This phrase oversimplifies the complexities of human experiences by suggesting that people are always equipped to manage whatever comes their way, disregarding the importance of acknowledging limitations and seeking support.

By suggesting that people can handle everything on their own, this phrase can discourage them from seeking external help or support when needed. It may create a sense of self-reliance that hinders their ability to reach out for assistance or share their burdens with others.

This was a huge struggle I faced. I was afraid to ask for help due to not wanting to burden others since I should only need to rely on God’s support and strength. This phrase caused me to minimize the magnitude of the challenges I faced by implying that I had the inherent strength and capacity to overcome anything that came my way. It invalidated my feelings of being overwhelmed and struggling with what I was going through.

“God is good ALL the time, ALL the time God is good.” While the phrase “God is good all the time, all the time God is good” is often used in a positive and uplifting context, it can also be used in a way that silences or dismisses legitimate concerns or challenges. In some cases, people may use this cliché to avoid engaging in difficult conversations or to invalidate the struggles and pain of others.

When someone is going through difficult times or expressing their doubts, fears, or concerns, responding with this cliché without genuinely addressing their feelings can be perceived as dismissive and unhelpful. It may prevent open and honest communication and hinder the opportunity for understanding and empathy. Yes God is good, but hurt and struggles still happen despite His goodness!

It’s all part of God’s plan.” This cliché is often employed when faced with unexpected or negative events, aiming to provide a sense of acceptance and resignation. It suggests that everything that occurs, regardless of how it may appear, is ultimately part of a greater divine plan. By using this cliche, religious groups can discourage members from questioning or exploring alternative explanations for their experiences, reinforcing the belief that everything happens for a specific purpose ordained by God and there is nothing that can be done about it.

“Don’t question God’s will.” This cliché is often used to discourage people from seeking understanding or finding meaning in challenging or tragic situations. It can imply that any attempt to explore or question God’s actions or purposes is inherently wrong or disrespectful. It can be employed to suppress questioning, doubt, or examination of one’s faith or religious teachings. It implies that any attempt to explore or challenge God’s will is wrong or disrespectful, discouraging members from engaging in deeper thinking.

For example, Moses, Gideon, Job, Habakkuk, Sarah, Zechariah, Abraham, Jonah, Thomas, Martha, Elijah, and Asaph, I could go on, all questioned God. Seeking greater understanding and clarification is not wrong.

The phrase can reinforce the authority of religious leaders or institutions by positioning them as the sole interpreters of God’s will. It can discourage congregants from critically examining the actions or teachings of those in positions of authority, promoting obedience and compliance rather than encouraging open dialogue or constructive discussion.

By asserting that questioning God’s will is off-limits, this phrase can be used to silence dissent or dismiss alternative perspectives. It can create an environment where individuals are discouraged from expressing their thoughts, concerns, or disagreements, encouraging a culture of blind conformity.

“God said it, I believe it, that settles it.” This cliché is often used to emphasize unwavering belief in the authority of religious texts or teachings. It can discourage deeper examination or questioning of religious doctrines by implying that blind acceptance is the only valid response. It can be used to silence dissenting viewpoints or alternative interpretations. It can create an environment where dialogue and respectful discussion are discouraged, inhibiting exploration of different perspectives.

The phrase suggests that once God’s word is accepted, there is no room for personal interpretation or critical thinking. It may discourage people from exercising their own discernment and using their God-given intellect to workout complex issues or challenges.

By adhering strictly to the belief that their interpretation of God’s word settles all matters, this phrase can reinforce the authority of religious leaders or institutions. It can discourage members from questioning or challenging the teachings of those in positions of authority, maintaining a culture of blind obedience rather than encouraging independent thought.

“Only God can judge.” This cliché is used to deflect or avoid discussions about moral or ethical issues, implying that human judgments are invalid or irrelevant. While it can promote humility, it can also discourage critical thinking or responsible decision-making.

The phrase can reinforce the authority and power of religious leaders or institutions by positioning them as the intermediaries between God and man. It can discourage individuals from questioning or challenging the actions or teachings of those in positions of authority, reinforcing a hierarchy and inhibiting independent thought.

By using this phrase, some may use it as a shield to avoid self-reflection, personal growth, or making necessary changes. It can discourage people from seeking personal development or striving to become better versions of themselves by relying solely on the idea that God will be the ultimate judge.

“Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.” I know, I know, this one is a direct quote from the Bible, but hear me out! The Bible itself can be used as a thought stopping cliché used by some to manipulate.

The phrase “Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding” is a biblical verse found in Proverbs 3:5. It can be used as a reminder to rely on God’s wisdom and guidance rather than solely depending on our limited human understanding. However, it is important to approach this verse with discernment and understand its context to avoid potential misinterpretation or manipulation.

The verse encourages individuals to trust in the Lord, recognizing that God’s understanding surpasses our own. It reminds us to have faith in God’s plan, even when things may seem unclear or challenging. While leaning on God’s understanding is important, it doesn’t mean that we should disregard our own intellect or critical thinking. The verse shouldn’t be used to discourage personal growth, education, or the pursuit of knowledge. Rather, it reminds us to acknowledge our limitations and humbly seek God’s guidance.

The verse doesn’t promote blind acceptance or discourage critical thinking. It invites individuals to integrate faith with a thoughtful and discerning approach to life’s challenges. It encourages us to seek God’s wisdom while engaging our minds in seeking understanding and making informed decisions.

It is important to interpret this verse, and others, within the broader teachings of the Bible and apply it in a way that encourages a balanced perspective. Trusting in the Lord doesn’t mean abandoning reason or personal responsibility; it invites us to embrace both our faith and our capacity for rational thought as we navigate life’s complexities.

How should these thought stopping clichés be responded to?

When confronted with thought stopping clichés, whether religious or non-religious or in your own mind, it can be helpful to respond in a kind, thoughtful, and respectful manner. Here are some approaches you can consider:

Ask for further explanation or elaboration on the cliché to better understand the perspective being expressed. This can lead to a more meaningful conversation and create an opportunity for deeper reflection.

Share your thoughts and beliefs in a respectful and calm manner. Explain that you value critical thinking and open dialogue, and that you are open to exploring different viewpoints. This can foster an environment of mutual understanding and encourage a more meaningful exchange of ideas.

Encourage critical thinking by asking thought-provoking questions that challenge the assumptions or implications of the cliché. This can help stimulate deeper reflection and encourage yourself and others to consider alternative perspectives.

Offer examples from your own life or the experiences of others to illustrate how critical thinking has yielded positive outcomes. This can help demonstrate the value of embracing a more nuanced perspective and open-mindedness.

Look for shared values or principles that both parties can agree upon, focusing on areas of agreement rather than differences. This can help create a foundation for respectful and constructive dialogue.

Keep in mind the goal is not to argue or persuade others to adopt your viewpoint, but rather to be understanding, encourage critical thinking, and promote open-mindedness. By approaching thought stopping clichés with respect, you can contribute to a more enriching and meaningful conversation.

Laura lookingjoligood.wordpress.com

*See above for disclaimer

Finding Faith Following Fundamentalism

Weaponized Shame

Abstract/TL;DR: Shame, whether in religious or non-religious contexts, can deeply harm individuals. It is used as a tool of control, punishment, and conformity. It can be seen in personal relationships, workplaces, social circles, and online communities. Breaking free from shame requires questioning ingrained beliefs, encouraging empathy, and creating supportive environments. By challenging the weaponization of shame, we can create a more compassionate society where people thrive.

*Please see disclaimer below

Content WarningI may not cover all of these things in detail, you might feel triggered by the content of this post.
CW: religious trauma, spiritual abuse, physical abuse, SA, guilt and shame, emotional manipulation, church discipline, loss of community, and fear of rejection

Shame is a complex emotion that can sneak into our lives in various ways, and dealing with it can be quite a challenge. It’s like when we mess up at work or in our personal relationships, and that feeling of failure starts gnawing at us. Even comparing ourselves to society’s beauty standards can trigger body shame, making us feel less than. Financial struggles or unemployment can bring on shame too, as we wonder why we can’t seem to get it together like others. (For instance, even though I find immense joy and satisfaction in being a stay-at-home mom and taking grad school classes, whenever someone inquires about my job, I can’t help but feel a pang of shame and an urge to justify why I am not currently employed.)

Those past mistakes we can’t shake off, they haunt us too. We beat ourselves up over things we did wrong, and the guilt weighs heavily in our minds and on our hearts. Sometimes, we might even feel ashamed of our family background or cultural differences, as if we don’t fit in. And the whole topic of sexuality and relationships can be a minefield of shame, with society’s judgmental eyes on us.

Mental health issues add another layer of complexity. Society’s stigma can make us feel ashamed for struggling with anxiety, depression, or any other challenges. It’s like we’re expected to hide our struggles and put on a brave face, acting like we have it all together at all times, which only makes things worse.

Even in simple social situations, we might feel awkward or different from others, and that can lead to a sense of shame and isolation.

But the truth is, we’re not alone in feeling this way. Shame is something we all encounter at some point in life. We’re all human, and we all have flaws. Finding healthy ways to cope with shame is important. We deserve to accept ourselves and let go of that unnecessary shame that holds us back.

Coping with shame, whether it originates from ourselves or is inflicted by others, can be incredibly challenging. In particular, I’d like to focus on the difficulties associated with dealing with shame that is weaponized by others. They may use hurtful words, judgmental attitudes, or social exclusion to make us feel inadequate and unworthy. This deliberate tactic can deeply impact our self-esteem and emotional well-being. When shame is weaponized, it can undermine our confidence and create a sense of powerlessness. It’s important to recognize this manipulative behavior and set boundaries to protect ourselves.

Weaponized shame can occur in both religious and non-religious contexts, and its impact can be deeply detrimental to an individuals’ well-being. In religious settings, shame may be misused as a means of control, punishment, or enforcing conformity. Strict rules and expectations can create a culture where people feel constant pressure to meet unattainable standards, leading to intense feelings of guilt, unworthiness, and fear of divine punishment. Using public humiliation or exclusion as a means to enforce conformity can compelling people to suppress their true beliefs.

weaponized shame| lookingjoligood.blog

My focus will be on weaponized shame within a religious context, although it’s important to note that this concept is not limited solely to religious settings.It can also be observed in personal relationships, workplaces, social circles, and online communities. Emotional manipulation tactics can involve constant criticism, ridicule, or demeaning behavior, leaving one feeling inadequate, submissive, and fearful. In workplaces, shame can be wielded through public humiliation, belittlement, or scapegoating, creating a toxic environment that undermines employees’ confidence, motivation, and overall well-being and enjoyment. Within social circles, shame may be used to exclude or gossip about individuals based on their appearance, interests, or lifestyle choices, creating feelings of isolation and self-doubt. In the digital realm, cyberbullying and online shaming inflict shame on people publicly, leading to severe emotional distress and social withdrawal.

Weaponized shame in religions is a topic that resonates with me. It refers to the misuse of shame as a form of control or punishment within religious contexts. Shame, as a powerful emotion, can have both positive and negative effects on people. In healthy religious environments, it can be used constructively to encourage personal growth and uphold moral values. However, when shame is intentionally weaponized, it can have severe consequences on mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

weaponized shame| lookingjoligood.blog

I have experienced the weight of weaponized shame firsthand. It’s discouraging to witness shame being used as a means of control and punishment. The pressure to conform to rigid religious standards can be suffocating, leaving little room for personal growth. Instead of encouraging a sense of belonging and acceptance, this kind of shame creates a culture of fear, where one’s worthiness is constantly questioned.It often stems from the imposition of rigid rules and standards that are nearly impossible to meet. When I failed to adhere to these expectations, I was flooded with intense feelings of shame and guilt. The fear of divine punishment and the belief that I am inherently flawed was overwhelming, leading in my case to anxiety. (you can read more about that by clicking HERE)

The constant internal battle between who I am and who I was expected to be took a toll on my mental and emotional health. It became a struggle to find my own identity and voice within the constraints of imposed shame. The demoralizing sight of church leaders saying one thing and acting in a different way, while simultaneously attempting to shame congregants, only intensified my frustration. The constant fear of judgment and rejection from my religious community created a sense of anticipatory shame. Yet contradiction between the preached ideals and the hypocrisy of those in positions of authority eroded my faith and trust.

Instead of creating a loving and compassionate connection with the divine, teachings that use shame as a tool can create a distorted perception of a punishing higher power. The belief that you are inherently flawed and deserving of punishment tarnishes the understanding of spirituality and hinders the development of a genuine and meaningful relationship with God.

Another aspect of weaponized shame is the use of public humiliation or exclusion to enforce conformity. This culture of fear instills a constant need to conform, suppressing true beliefs and identity out of the fear of shame and rejection. It becomes a tricky balance between being authentic and adhering to the expectations set by the community. I have witnessed individuals being publicly shamed or ostracized within the religious community for deviating from group norms and teachings. For instance, women being publicly shamed in front of the church for becoming pregnant without being married, even though there is no male partner present to share the shame. (While I have very strong feelings about the public shaming of unmarried pregnant women, I will not get into the discussion of that today.)

Church discipline, as mentioned in the Bible (Matthew 18:15-17), addresses unrepentant, serious sin within the Christian community. The focus is on restoration and reconciliation rather than shame or punishment. It seeks to guide individuals towards recognizing their actions, seeking repentance, and encourage healing and grace within the community.

Women are often shamed and preached to about the importance of dressing modestly, while simultaneously being chastised for causing men to stumble due to their mere physical presence. Ironically, the men who criticize them are often not prioritizing modesty in the way they are living their own lives. It is important to note that modesty encompasses much more than just a woman’s choice of clothing. Living a life of modesty involves embracing simplicity, humility, and contentment, valuing inner qualities over material possessions, and showing respect and consideration for others in all aspects of one’s actions and interactions. (Might I also point out Matthew 5:29: “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”)

I am not condoning or encouraging wrong behavior, but using shame as a way of control or punishment is harmful and damaging to one’s well-being and sense of self-worth. It can lead to long-lasting emotional scars and prevent open and honest communication, hindering personal growth. Using shame as a tool of control or punishment can have negative effects on both the individuals subjected to it and the group employing it. It can lead to a lack of trust and division within the group, while hindering compassion and empathy. Additionally, the group might struggle to have genuine connections among its members due to fear of shame being used against them.

It is important to acknowledge that not all religious communities engage in weaponized shame. Some emphasize compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance. Sharing experiences and challenging the harmful effects of weaponized shame can contribute to the creation of religious spaces that uplift and inspire people, nurturing their spiritual well-being. However, when shame is used as a tool of control and manipulation, it has severe negative consequences.

weaponized shame | lookingjoligood.blog

The Holy Spirit serves as a guiding presence in our lives, functioning as our conscience. It is through the Holy Spirit that we receive conviction and guidance regarding our thoughts, actions, and decisions. While shame can be a powerful emotion, it is important to discern whether it stems from the Holy Spirit’s gentle conviction or from manipulative tactics of the church or others. If we do not feel genuine shame from the Holy Spirit, we should not allow the church leaders or religious institutions or others to manipulate us into feeling shame. Instead, we should seek a deeper understanding of God’s love, grace, and forgiveness, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in righteousness, free from undue manipulation or spiritual harm.

Romans 8:1-2 “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

This verse emphasizes that as believers in Christ, we are set free from condemnation. The Holy Spirit guides us into a life-giving relationship with Jesus, freeing us from the power of sin and any false shame associated with it.

Galatians 5:1 “So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.”

This verse encourages believers to embrace the freedom found in Christ and to guard against being burdened by legalistic rules and regulations. It reminds us that true freedom in Christ includes freedom from manipulative spiritual practices or unnecessary shame. The entire book of Galatians speaks about grace and freedom from shame and legalism.

1 John 2:27 “But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.”

This verse reminds us that as believers, we have received the Holy Spirit who dwells within us. The Holy Spirit teaches us what is true, and we can rely on the Spirit’s guidance without needing others to manipulate or shame us spiritually.

There are several more Bible verses that speak to the issue of shame and the importance of finding healing and freedom from it. Here are a few examples:

Psalm 25:3: “No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced, but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.”

Psalm 34:4-5: “”I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.”

Isaiah 61:7: “Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.”

Romans 9:33: “For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the Lord. ‘Instead, I will bless you.'”

Romans 10:11 – “As the Scriptures tell us, ‘Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.'”

2 Corinthians 5:17: “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

1 Peter 2:6: “As the Scriptures say, ‘I am placing a cornerstone in Jerusalem, chosen for great honor, and anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.'”

1 Peter 4:16: “But it is no shame to suffer for being a Christian. Praise God for the privilege of being called by his name!”

By acknowledging the harmful impact of weaponized shame and striving to create supportive environments, we can contribute to a more compassionate and inclusive society. In such a setting, individuals can thrive and grow without the burden of shame holding them back.

Laura lookingjoligood.wordpress.com

Disclaimer: The personal experiences shared in this post are based on my personal perspective. While I chose to leave the IFB to find a more gracious and loving community, it is important to acknowledge that individuals may have different experiences and find happiness within the IFB or any other religious institution. My decision to leave the IFB does not imply a loss of faith, as faith is a deeply personal and subjective matter. It is essential to respect and recognize the diversity of experiences and perspectives within religious communities. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice, guidance, or a universal representation of the IFB or any religious organization. It is recommended to seek guidance, conduct research, and consider multiple perspectives when making personal decisions or exploring matters of faith.

Want more information about weaponized shame? Here are some references:

Shame Resilience Theory by Brené Brown: This theory explains how shame can be managed and overcome. Brown argues that shame resilience is essential for living a healthy and fulfilling life. https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/shame-resilience-theory/

“The Weaponization of Shame” by Cathy O’Neil: This book explores how shame is being used as a tool of control and manipulation in the digital age. https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/606203/the-shame-machine-by-cathy-oneil/

“How To Deal with Shame” by Psychology Today: This article provides tips on how to identify and resist weaponized shame. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/202109/how-deal-shame

“Shame Resilience: How to Overcome Shame and Build Self-Esteem” by Psych Central: This article provides an overview of shame resilience theory and how to develop it. https://psychcentral.com/lib/breaking-the-cycle-of-shame-and-self-destructive-behavior

Using Shame as a Weapon: Does it Work? by Tim Hill “The risk in using shame as a weapon is not that it won’t work, but that it will. Shame suppresses, contracts, limits and weakens the person who is shamed.”http://timhillpsychotherapy.com/shame-as-a-weapon/

I hope these resources are helpful!