Abstract/TL;DR: The Bible advises not to be anxious, but some churches impose strict rules causing anxiety. This can create a conflict between preached messages and expectations, leading to guilt and constant anxiety. Leaving that type of a church can be liberating, allowing for a more authentic and compassionate approach to spirituality. It’s essential to find a spiritual space that nurtures your soul without unnecessary anxiety, trusting yourself to make the right choices for your well-being. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and your peace of mind matters.

The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:6-7: Let not your heart be troubled, and God’s word tells us to be anxious for nothing. However, the church piles on a list of legalistic standards that cause fear and anxiety. How can these two conflicting messages be correct?!

When I was part of my previous church community, it was quite challenging for me, because they often preached about not being anxious and trusting in faith. However, at the same time, they had strict rules and legalistic standards that created a constant state of anxiety within me. It felt like I was always walking on eggshells, worried that I might not measure up to their expectations.

It’s like they were telling us not to worry, yet their actions and requirements seemed to contradict that message. This mismatch between what was preached and what was expected created an internal conflict, making it even harder to find peace of mind.

As a result, I found myself in this constant cycle of feeling guilty and anxious if I couldn’t live up to their ideals. It was exhausting and emotionally draining, and I felt like I was set up to fail at every turn.

I’ve always believed that the church should be a supportive and understanding community, but I’ve encountered situations where judgment and lack of empathy prevailed. It’s discouraging when you desire acceptance and find yourself dealing with anxiety instead.

Every Saturday evening, the anticipatory anxiety would slowly creep its way into my thoughts and emotions. I’d sense my chest tightening, the urge to fidget, and micromanage, unfortunately, that tension would manifest in me being short and unkind to my family. As I began to prepare for the Sunday morning church services, the stress would intensify, and I could feel my shoulders tensing up, rising towards my ears.

The anticipatory anxiety felt suffocating, like an overwhelming weight on my chest. I found myself striving for perfection, knowing that judgment and scrutiny awaited me. It was as if every step I took was under a microscope, and the fear of not meeting expectations intensified the pressure even more. It seemed as though certain people wanted me to fail, almost as if they were eagerly waiting to hold me accountable for any misstep.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, leaving the church was a tough decision, but it was liberating too. It allowed me to break free from those suffocating standards and embrace a more authentic and compassionate approach to life and spirituality. I realized that true faith and spirituality should be about love, understanding, and acceptance, not fear and anxiety.

Since then, I’ve found a new sense of peace and contentment. I’ve discovered spiritual practices that resonate with me personally and align with my values. I’ve made a conscious choice to surround myself only with people who genuinely want the best for me and cheer on my success. It’s incredible how this decision has lifted the heavy burden of anxiety from my shoulders. I’ve learned to trust myself and follow my instincts. If something is causing me significant anxiety, I now understand the importance of reevaluating my involvement and making choices that prioritize my mental well-being.

Making the decision to leave that judgmental church community behind is something I’ll always be thankful for. It was an important choice, and I’m grateful I had the courage to make that change.

If you’re experiencing a similar situation, know that you’re not alone. It’s ok to question and challenge the status quo, especially if it’s causing you unnecessary anxiety. Take the time to explore what truly brings you peace and comfort, and don’t be afraid to make changes that will lead you to a healthier and happier path.

Remind yourself that it’s ok to take a break. Stepping away from the source of anxiety, even for a few minutes, (…or forever) can be extremely restorative.

Your well-being matters above all else. Trust yourself, and surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. You deserve to find a spiritual space that nurtures your soul without the burden of constant anxiety.

Be kind to yourself, and trust that you’ll find the way that’s right for you.

Disclaimer: The experiences shared in this post are based on my personal perspective. While I chose to leave the IFB to find a more gracious and loving community, it is important to acknowledge that individuals may have different experiences and find happiness within the IFB or any other religious institution. My decision to leave the IFB does not imply a loss of faith, as faith is a deeply personal and subjective matter. It is essential to respect and recognize the diversity of experiences and perspectives within religious communities. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice, guidance, or a universal representation of the IFB or any religious organization. It is recommended to seek guidance, conduct research, and consider multiple perspectives when making personal decisions or exploring matters of faith.While I speak from personal experience and perspective, I want to acknowledge that I come from a place of extreme privilege. I understand that I have the means and support to change my situation, which may not be the case for everyone. It is important to recognize that each individual’s circumstances vary, and not everyone has the same resources available to them.