I few years ago I came across a quote by Ann Voskamp that truly made me pause and reflect: “Façades only end up suffocating us all, it’s only telling the truth that lets you breathe.” This quote reminds me of a verse from the Bible, John 8:32, which states, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

This post is one of the ones I mentioned I began writing years ago, and it remained in my drafts until now. I had so many feelings surrounding the topic of putting up a false façade, yet at the time I didn’t have the words or emotional capacity to fully express what I was thinking and feeling. As with many things, time and distance have helped me work things out.

So, what exactly is a façade? According to the dictionary, it refers to an outward appearance that is carefully maintained to conceal a less pleasant or credible reality. It’s like putting on a mask to hide our true selves. For example, someone might present a flawless public facade while privately experiencing stress and despair.

There are times when it feels easier to hide behind a façade, pretending to be someone we think we should be or trying to impress others. It may seem more convenient to maintain this false front than to embrace our true selves and invest the necessary time and effort to become who we are meant to be. Wearing a mask is easier than exposing oneself to the vulnerability of revealing the cracks and flaws hidden beneath. Sadly, we fool ourselves into thinking that the mask is preferable, and our true self is better off concealed, shielded from the judgment and scrutiny of the outside world.

It is not uncommon to witness a tendency within the church to favor the façades over authentic individuals. In our desire to create an atmosphere of perceived perfection or to uphold certain societal expectations, we often inadvertently encourage a culture of pretense within our faith communities.

This preference for façades can manifest in several ways. First, there is the pressure to maintain a flawless image. Churchgoers may feel compelled to project an image of having it all together, both in their personal lives and in their spiritual walk. This emphasis on outward appearances can lead to a sense of competition or comparison, as people strive to meet the perceived standards set by others. The underlying fear of judgment or rejection can drive people to wear masks, afraid to reveal their true struggles and imperfections, choosing to struggle alone masked by the façade that everything is ok. (I manifest this in my own life by developing high-functioning anxiety and imposter syndrome)

Second, there can be an inclination to prioritize conformity over authenticity. Sometimes, churches intentionally or unintentionally create and encourage an environment that discourages questioning, doubts, or differing perspectives. The focus shifts from genuine engagement with faith and personal growth to conforming to a predetermined mold. As a result, people may suppress their true thoughts, questions, and unique expressions of faith, fearing that they won’t fit into the expected norms.

The church’s preference for façades can lead to a lack of vulnerability and transparency. When people do not feel safe to be authentic, genuine relationships suffer. It becomes challenging to make deep connections and offer support to one another in times of need. The fear of judgment or rejection hinders the growth of an inclusive and compassionate community that accepts and embraces people as they are.

We are told “come as you are,” with the unspoken undercurrent of “as long as you are just like us,” subtly implying that acceptance may be conditional and conformity is the true measure of belonging.

We need to actively resist the tendency to uphold facades. It is only when faith communities make a deliberate effort to cultivate settings that promote authenticity, vulnerability, and acceptance that true progress can unfold. Encouraging individuals to bring their genuine selves, including doubts and struggles, is essential. Recognizing that authentic growth and transformation arise when we embrace vulnerability before God and our community, we must encourage an environment where openness is valued.

Church leaders play a pivotal role in this process by setting an example. They can demonstrate openness about their personal journeys, acknowledging their imperfections, and sharing stories of personal growth and transformation. Through such transparency, leaders contribute to creating an atmosphere where individuals feel empowered to be genuine, fostering a community that thrives on authenticity and mutual support.

We can prioritize meaningful connections and invest in building genuine relationships. This requires active listening, empathy, and creating spaces where individuals can share their joys, struggles, and doubts without fear of judgment. We can start by cultivating a culture of grace and acceptance within our lives and our churches, where people feel safe to be themselves and are met with love and compassion instead of feeling the need to put up a façade.

Disclaimer: The personal experiences shared in this post are based on my personal perspective. I want to acknowledge that I am on a continuous journey of growth and self-improvement. I am aware that I don’t always respond or behave in the perfect way, as I am only human. However, I hold firm to the belief that treating people with kindness and respect is of utmost importance. While I may stumble along the way, my intention is always rooted in creating positive interactions and demonstrating consideration for others.