Happy Halloween! It’s the last day of October which means trick or treating! It is also the last day of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you’re a woman between 40 and 75 and haven’t scheduled your yearly mammogram or screening yet, why not take a minute today to make that appointment? Early detection saves lives and taking care of your health is one of the best treats you can give yourself.
The sun was warm on the hillside as Jesus sat down among the people. They gathered close as children sat resting at their mothers’ feet, fishermen still smelling of the sea, and travelers dusty from the road. His voice was calm, yet full of strength. He spoke about love, kindness, and forgiveness. He taught that even the smallest act of mercy mattered in the eyes of God. The crowd grew silent, hanging on every word. When He finished, there was no applause, only peace. Hearts that had arrived burdened felt lighter, and as the people walked away, they carried His words with them. Jesus had just spoken truths that would echo long after the day was done.
Years later, I sat in a church pew on a Sunday morning, listening to a preacher speak with fire in his voice about Jesus the Conqueror, the warrior king who would return to crush His enemies. The pastor seemed almost enthralled by the image, his words soaked in victory and vengeance. To him, Jesus was not the gentle teacher from the hillside but a commander coming to destroy all who dared to disagree or fall short. The message was clear: believe as he believed, or be counted among the conquered. By the end, hearts were racing, not comforted. When I stepped outside into the sunlight, I thought of Jesus on that hillside long ago, where He spoke about the meek inheriting the earth, the merciful being shown mercy, the peacemakers being called children of God. Jesus taught about grace, He was gentle and love was enough. Somewhere along the way, the message of Jesus had changed…
I was always taught that religion was about rules, appearances, and obedience to authority. The underlying message was that God was always watching, ready to punish the slightest mistake. Only later did I begin to notice that this version of religion often clashed with the words and actions of Jesus Himself. When we look at the Gospels, it becomes clear that Jesus consistently reframed religion away from fear and control, and instead pointed toward love, mercy, and relationship.
When asked about the greatest commandment, Jesus didn’t give a list of rules. Instead, He said that everything hangs on two simple but profound truths: love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37–40)For Jesus, love was not just one command among many, it was the foundation of the entire faith. This stands in sharp contrast to the endless restrictions and expectations imposed in high-control religious environments. It can be challenging to find the message of loving your neighbor in sermons that focus heavily on judgment or exclusion.
Jesus also challenged the idea that religious rituals or sacrifices were what pleased God. Quoting the prophet Hosea, He declared, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice” (Matthew 9:13). In saying this, He revealed that what God values most is compassion, kindness, and mercy toward others, not outward displays of piety.
Far from burdening people with more rules, Jesus offered freedom and rest. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28–30). While the Pharisees loaded people down with guilt and impossible standards, Jesus offered a lighter yoke. His way was about relief and grace, not fear or exhaustion.
He also condemned religious hypocrisy. In Matthew 23, He confronted the Pharisees, saying they cleaned the outside of the cup while leaving the inside filthy. This metaphor highlighted His insistence on authenticity. Religion, according to Jesus, was not about appearances but about genuine transformation of the heart.
Even more radically, Jesus welcomed those the religious elite despised: tax collectors, women, Samaritans, and sinners. By sitting at their tables and treating them with dignity, He demonstrated that God’s kingdom is wide open to the marginalized, not reserved for those who appear righteous.If He were hear today He would be welcoming those the religious elite despised: the immigrants and those in the LGBTQ+.
Finally, Jesus framed faith as relationship, not servitude. In John 15:15, He told His disciples, “I no longer call you servants… instead, I have called you friends.” That shift from master-servant language to friendship reveals the heart of His teaching: God does not demand fearful obedience but desires loving relationship.
Taken together, these teachings show that Jesus did not create a religion of rules, guilt, and control. Instead, He invited people into a life marked by love, mercy, peace, and freedom. True religion, as Jesus taught it, is not about endlessly striving to prove ourselves worthy, it is about living in relationship with God and extending compassion to others.
For someone raised in an environment where control was called obedience and shame was disguised as holiness, this realization is both freeing and healing. The Jesus of the Gospels does not bind people in fear; He sets them free in love.
So if you find yourself sitting in a pew today, listening to a sermon heavy with hellfire and fear, maybe take a moment to remember that hillside, to the Jesus who chose compassion over conquest, and peace over power. Faith was never meant to sound like a battle cry, but like the quiet voice that says, “Blessed are the peacemakers.”
For the last several years I have been slowly working on getting my Masters of Science in Nursing, Public Health Nursing. As I approach the finish line, I’m excited to begin the next chapter of my nursing career in public health.
For much of my career as a nurse, I’ve been known as someone who is confident, composed, and capable. On the surface, I appeared to handle challenges with ease, but underneath that exterior, I was often battling high-functioning anxiety. This form of anxiety is particularly deceptive, it hides behind achievements, perfectionism, and tireless effort. I was constantly overanalyzing situations, over preparing far beyond what was necessary, and pushing myself to meet unrealistic internal standards. While this helped me succeed in many ways, it also left me emotionally drained and in a constant state of tension.
I love being a nurse and helping people. I loved taking care of cancer patients and found studying oncology so interesting, but so many other aspects of nursing gave me constant inner turmoil! What changed everything for me was discovering my niche in public health. For the first time, I felt like I belonged! The intense pressure I had felt for so long began to ease, not because the workload decreased, but because my mindset shifted. I was no longer working to prove something or to stave off a fear of failure. Instead, I was driven by curiosity, a desire to learn, and a genuine excitement about making a difference.
Interestingly, I still over-prepare. That part of me hasn’t changed. But what has changed is the reason behind it. My efforts now come from a place of passion rather than pressure. This new headspace is not exhausting, it’s energizing. I no longer feel like I’m in a race against my own doubts. Instead, I feel grounded, motivated, and grateful to be doing work that matters to me.
Looking back, I realize how easy it is to mistake high-functioning anxiety for ambition. But true fulfillment doesn’t come from constant striving, it comes from finding your place and embracing it with your whole heart. Public health has given me that, and I’ve never felt more at peace with my career or with myself.
Music has an uncanny ability to transport us back in time, reviving memories both joyful and painful with just a few familiar notes. I hadn’t heard To Be with You by Mr. Big in years, but the moment it played, I was instantly transported back to an experience from my childhood that left a lasting impression. Although I genuinely enjoy the song, it is forever tied to that memory.
I was around eleven years old when my neighbor had a birthday party at a skating rink. She was closer to my older sister than to me, she wasn’t able to go to the party for some reason or another, and I wasn’t particularly eager to go alone. However, as was often the case back then, my sister guilted me into attending in her place. I reluctantly went, already anticipating an uncomfortable time. As I expected, I knew hardly anyone there, and while I was only mildly friendly with the birthday girl, I was certainly not part of her close circle of friends.
The party proceeded as these events typically did, everyone laced up their skates and took to the rink. Loud music played over the speakers and everyone seemed to be having a great time. The birthday girl was surrounded by her friends, laughing and enjoying herself, while I glided around unnoticed, feeling out of place. Still to this day I remember the lump forming in my throat, the kind that signals an impending cry, but I willed myself to hold it together. No one was overtly mean to me (…yet), but the absence of any acknowledgment made me feel invisible, which in some ways was just as painful. Over the speaker Mr Big sang “Why be alone when we can be together, baby?” But in that moment, surrounded by people yet feeling completely isolated, the lyrics felt more like cruel irony.
Then came the moment that cemented this memory in my mind… We had gathered around to sing Happy Birthday and enjoy cake and ice cream. As I moved my arm, I accidentally knocked the plate of the birthday girl’s grandmother, causing her piece of cake to drop onto the floor. What followed was a shocking outburst. I can still picture it clearly in my mind as if it happened yesterday, the woman screamed at me as if I had committed an unforgivable offense. Her reaction was wildly disproportionate to the situation, berating me in front of everyone over a simple accident. While I don’t recall whether I ended up crying, I do remember the overwhelming embarrassment and shame that washed over me.
I don’t know if as a child I knew that her reaction was more about her own issues than about me or the fallen dessert? There was no excuse for speaking to a child that way, especially in a public setting over something so trivial. It wasn’t the first time I had witnessed an overreaction from this woman, she often spoke to her grandchildren that way, but it was the first time I had been the target of her misplaced anger. As far as I can remember it was the first time I had ever been the target of anyone’s misplaced anger, which is probably why it sticks out so starkly in my memory.
Decades later, when To Be with You played, I was instantly transported back to that moment, the skating rink, the loneliness, the humiliation. And yet, surprisingly, I really like the song. It’s strange how emotions and memories become intertwined with music, shaping our connection to it in ways we don’t always understand. Though the memory itself is painful, I may have felt small and invisible that day, but I emerged a stronger person. I personally would never speak to anyone that way, especially not a child. I have also learned that other people’s misplaced anger and overreactions are reflections of them, not of me.
It is so interesting how music has a way of stitching together moments of the past with the present. For people to truly want “To Be With You,” kindness and warmth matter far more than simply being present. Situations like what happened that day have taught me that making others feel included and valued is what truly brings people together.
Studying population public health has opened my eyes to the overwhelming impact that infectious diseases have on individuals and society. As I’m reading Anthony Fauci’s On Call, I find myself deeply moved by the part he played in the relentless battle against HIV/AIDS and the advocacy that shaped public health responses.
This story isn’t just about statistics and policies, it’s about the people behind them. My love for the musical group Queen makes it even more personal.As I was reading the sections of Dr. Fauci’s book talking about HIV/AIDS, I kept thinking about Freddie Mercury. His voice has always been a source of joy and inspiration to me, but his struggle with HIV/AIDS is a heartbreaking reminder of how deeply personal suffering can be, especially when met with fear and ignorance. He faced the disease with quiet strength, even as the world speculated about his health. His story is one of love, loss, and the desperate need for understanding in a time when so many suffered in silence.
Freddie Mercury, the legendary frontman of Queen, was not only a musical genius but also a man who carried an immense burden with grace. His battle with HIV/AIDS in the late 1980s and early 1990s was marked by secrecy, pain, and a world that often responded with fear rather than empathy. As his body weakened, his spirit never did, he poured everything he had into his music, leaving behind a legacy that continues to inspire. But beyond the music, his life serves as a stark reminder of the suffering so many endured in silence, battling not only a ruthless disease but also the cruel judgment of society. Mercury’s story urges us to remember, to care, and to continue fighting for a world free of stigma and ignorance.
During the 1980s, HIV/AIDS was widely misunderstood, leading to fear, discrimination, and misinformation. At the height of Queen’s success, Mercury was diagnosed with the disease, but he kept his condition private for several years. The intense stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS at the time forced many, including Mercury, to suffer in silence. Homophobia further fueled the discrimination, as the disease was often falsely labeled as a consequence of sexual orientation rather than a global public health crisis.
It was not until November 23, 1991, just one day before his death, that Mercury publicly acknowledged his illness. His statement read: “Following the enormous conjecture in the press, I wish to confirm that I have been tested HIV-positive and have AIDS. I felt it correct to keep this information private to date to protect the privacy of those around me.” This courageous announcement brought global attention to the disease, challenging the stigma and ignorance surrounding it.
Mercury’s death at the age of 45 was a tragic loss to the world of music. However, it also marked a turning point in the public conversation about HIV/AIDS. His revelation helped humanize the epidemic, demonstrating that it could affect anyone, regardless of fame or fortune. In the wake of his passing, organizations such as The Mercury Phoenix Trust were established to fund AIDS research and raise awareness.
Mercury’s struggle was not unique. During the 1980s and early 1990s, thousands of individuals with HIV/AIDS faced not only the physical devastation of the disease but also widespread discrimination. Many lost their jobs, were denied healthcare, and were even abandoned by family and friends. The stigma surrounding the illness prevented open discussions, delaying medical research and policy changes that could have saved lives.
Despite these hardships, advocacy efforts grew stronger. Activist groups such as ACT UP (which stands for AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power,) fought for better treatment options and government intervention. The development of antiretroviral therapies in the mid-1990s transformed HIV from a death sentence into a manageable condition, but stigma and misinformation persist even today.
Freddie Mercury’s legacy extends far beyond his music. His bravery in the final days of his life, coupled with his immense talent, continues to inspire people worldwide. His story serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of compassion, education, and scientific progress in the fight against HIV/AIDS. Through continued advocacy and medical advancements, the world moves closer to eradicating both the disease and the stigma that surrounds it.
Today, as public health efforts focus on prevention, treatment, and awareness, Mercury’s influence remains a guiding force in destigmatizing HIV/AIDS and supporting those affected. His music, his resilience, and his impact on the fight against HIV/AIDS ensure that his legacy will never be forgotten.
Love me like there’s no tomorrow
Hold me in your arms
Tell me you mean it
This is our last goodbye
And very soon it will be over
But today just love me like there’s no tomorrow
You can make a donation to Freddie’s organizations The Mercury Phoenix Trust to fund AIDS research and raise awareness by clicking HERE or by visiting https://www.mercuryphoenixtrust.org/site/getinvolved
I once knew a woman who bragged about the fact that she never read. I always felt bad for her because she has no idea that she is missing out on so many opportunities for growth, imagination, and connection. Reading opens doors to new worlds, ideas, and perspectives, and I couldn’t help but feel that by avoiding books, she was limiting her ability to expand her mind and experience life in a deeper way. It isn’t just about knowledge, it is about the richness that reading can bring to our lives, and I couldn’t understand why she would choose to forgo that.
I love reading. It’s my escape, my way to learn, and often, my source of comfort. I use Goodreads to keep track of the books I have read and the books that I want to read. I currently have 742 books on my “To Be Read” (TBR) list. That is an insane number of books. With every new book I hear about, I add it to the list, thinking, “I’ll get to that one day.” But for some books that day has never come, and I’m left with a list that grows longer by the week. What started as an enjoyable hobby has turned into an overwhelming list. There are just too many options, and the pressure to read it all can seem impossible.Although, not so humble brag, but since 2012 when I started intentionally reading more, as well as keeping track of the books I read, I have read an astounding 927 books! Even with such a high number of books read, there are so many more that I want to read…742 to be exact.
I realized that I need to step back and approach my TBR list more intentionally, rather than letting it control me. I enjoy reading, but I also enjoy checking things off of a list. So, I’ve started reflecting on how to be more thoughtful about the books I choose and, more importantly, how to be more selective about the books I add to the list in the first place.
The first thing I had to do was admit to myself that my TBR list had become a bit of a problem. I added books because they were recommended by friends, because I saw them on social media, or because they seemed like the “right” books to be reading at the time. But the truth is, I wasn’t always in the mood for them, or they didn’t even align with what I was interested in anymore. My TBR had turned into a hodgepodge of random titles with no real purpose. I have grown and changed so much since I started that list in 2012, I have started looking through my TBR list and removing books that no longer align with who I am. I started by taking a hard look at what was on the list. Why had I added each book? Did it still spark my curiosity? Was it something I actually wanted to read right now? I still have more purging to do, but I have already removed a good number of books from my TBR list.
I’ve started to think about what I really want from my reading. Am I looking to learn something new? Am I seeking a way to escape for a while? Setting clear intentions has helped me narrow down the books I actually want to dive into. For example, as I work on my Master of Science in Nursing (MSN) I’m currently drawn to books that explore population public health, so I’ve been prioritizing those. And when I’m in the mood for fiction, I know exactly what genres or authors to go for, instead of just adding random recommendations that don’t really resonate with me.
Lately, I’ve realized how much easier it is to enjoy a book when it aligns with what’s going on in my life. If I’m going through a stressful period, I might choose something comforting or lighthearted. If I’m feeling more introspective, I’ll reach for a self-help or memoir. Being more intentional with my choices means I’m not just reading for the sake of reading, I’m reading what feels right for me at the moment. If I am feeling anxious or there is a lot going on, I am not going to be able to focus on a book that requires deep concentration or emotional investment. In those moments, I need something lighter or more soothing, perhaps a comforting novel I’ve read before or a book with simple, engaging prose. When my mind is scattered, the last thing I want is to feel frustrated by a complex plot or heavy themes. Instead, I want a story that can hold my attention without overwhelming me, something that lets me escape for a while without demanding too much of my mental energy.
There’s a big part of me that wants to keep up with the latest trends and read the books everyone is talking about. But I’ve come to realize that I don’t need to read everything that’s popular. There’s no need to succumb to the pressure of reading what everyone else is reading just because it’s trending. I can read at my own pace, and if a book feels like it will bring me joy or insight, I’ll read it when I’m ready. Some people enjoy buying books and building their library, I prefer to borrow books from the library and have no problem waiting for a book that is on hold from the library. For me, there’s something satisfying about the anticipation of a book being available, knowing I’m part of a community of readers sharing the same space. It’s also a way to keep my collection from growing too large, which helps prevent the feeling of being overwhelmed by shelves full of unread books. Borrowing books also allows me to explore new genres and authors without the commitment of owning them, making my reading experience feel more fluid and flexible.
I used to feel like I always had to be reading something new, but I’ve started to embrace the idea of rereading books that I’ve loved in the past. It’s comforting to revisit stories or ideas that I’ve connected with before. Sometimes, I’ll pick up a book I’ve already read because I know it will bring me a sense of peace or spark new reflections. There’s no shame in rereading, it’s a way to deepen my connection to a book I know brings me value.
“A person who reads the same book twice is not the same person.” This idea reflects the notion that as we grow and change, our perspectives and interpretations evolve. Each time we revisit a book, we bring new experiences and insights to it, so even though the words on the page remain the same, the way we understand them can be entirely different. This speaks to how both the reader and the book can change over time, making each reading a unique experience.
Life changes, and so do my reading moods. Some books that seemed interesting six months ago don’t appeal to me now, and that’s okay. I’ve learned not to force myself to read something just because it’s on the list. If it doesn’t feel right, I’ll put it aside. I want to read books that excite me, not feel like I’m ticking boxes on an endless checklist.
I have a feeling that being more intentional about what I read will make a huge difference. I feel more connected to the books I’m choosing, and reading feels like something I want to do, not something I have to do. By focusing on what truly matters to me at this moment, I’ve been able to turn my TBR list from an overwhelming pile into something manageable and enjoyable. I’m going to savor my reading experiences rather than rushing through books just to cross them off.
The books I recommend that I have already read in 2025
Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City by Matthew Desmond**
Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson**
The Midnight Feast by Lucy Foley**
In case you are interested, here is a list of the top 10 books I read in 2024:
Yellowface by R.F. Kuang
Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt
The Dutch House by Anna Patchett
The Paris Agent by Kelly Rimmer
The Women by Kristin Hannah
The House of Eve by Sadeqa Johnson
The Lovely War by Julie Berry
The Night Tiger by Yangsze Choo
Here One Moment by Laine Moriarty
Personally, I prefer to I borrow the books I read from the library, but when I do buy books I like to check out Thriftbooks.com
**An affiliate link is a unique URL provided by an affiliate program or network to their partners, such as bloggers or website owners. When someone clicks on an affiliate link and makes a purchase or completes a desired action, the affiliate partner earns a commission or other form of compensation. These links are specifically tracked to attribute sales or conversions generated through the partner’s promotional efforts. In summary, an affiliate link is a specialized link that allows partners to earn commissions by driving traffic and sales to a particular product or service.**
As I wrote in a previous post, Matthew Desmond’s Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City is a powerful exploration of housing insecurity and its far-reaching effects on individuals and families. Through his ethnographic study of eight families in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Desmond captures the relentless struggles of people trying to secure the most basic human necessity: a home. As I have finished reading this book for a second time, I continue to think about how it provides more than just a window into their lives; it underscores a broader truth about the foundational role housing plays in human well-being. As I think about the families in this book, I keep coming back to thoughts outlined in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. By examining the interplay between housing insecurity and Maslow’s framework, it becomes evident that stable housing is essential not only for survival but also for achieving higher levels of personal and societal development.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a psychological theory proposed by Abraham Maslow, is often depicted as a pyramid with five levels. The first two levels, physiological needs (such as food, water, and shelter) and safety needs (security, stability, and protection), form the foundation. These must be met before individuals can focus on higher-level needs, including belongingness, esteem, and ultimately, self-actualization. Desmond’s work reveals how housing insecurity disrupts this progression, trapping individuals and families in a cycle where they can barely address their basic needs, let alone aspire to personal growth and fulfillment.
Looking at the pyramid of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the families featured in Evicted are constantly battling to meet their physiological and safety needs. For Arleen, a single mother, the inability to secure stable housing means frequent moves and evictions, which prevent her from providing consistent shelter for her children. Her story highlights how the lack of a stable home undermines even the most fundamental aspects of life. When people are consumed with finding their next place to sleep, other needs—such as nutrition, employment, and education—are often neglected. As Desmond points out, the loss of housing creates a ripple effect, leading to job loss, health crises, and educational disruptions, further destabilizing families and communities.
In Evicted, housing insecurity is shown to have a profound impact on Arleen Bell’s young son, Jafaris, and his asthma. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs emphasizes the importance of stable, safe living conditions for meeting basic physiological and safety needs. Frequent moves, exposure to substandard housing, living in shelters, and the stress associated with housing instability significantly exacerbate his Jafaris’s asthma. Poor living conditions, such as mold or poor ventilation, contribute to environmental triggers, while disrupted routines and limited access to healthcare prevent effective asthma management. Additionally, the loss of Jafaris’s breathing machine due to the family’s unstable situation delays and prevents timely treatment, further complicating his condition. This cycle of instability highlights how unmet basic needs can lead to worsened health outcomes, particularly for vulnerable children like Jafaris.
Safety needs, the second level in Maslow’s hierarchy, are also profoundly compromised by housing instability. Many tenants in Evicted live in fear of landlords, eviction notices, and the threat of homelessness. Arleen living in dilapidated conditions, exemplifies how the lack of secure housing erodes a sense of safety and control. Without a stable environment, individuals cannot establish the security necessary to build relationships, pursue goals, or maintain mental well-being. Desmond’s research illustrates how eviction and housing insecurity perpetuate chronic stress, which has long-term implications for physical and mental health.
Arleen’s struggles provide another poignant example of how housing insecurity disrupts the hierarchy of needs. Arleen, struggling with poverty and homelessness, sometimes lashed out at her children. The book describes instances where she became short-tempered and even cruel, often blaming them for her own frustrations and the hardships they faced. Desmond suggests that Arleen’s harsh behavior stemmed from her own despair and the overwhelming burden of poverty.It was easier for her to direct her anger toward her children than to confront the harsh realities of their situation, the lack of resources, and the constant struggle to survive. This dynamic highlights how unmet physiological and safety needs can compromise an individual’s ability to meet emotional and relational needs, such as providing love and support to their family. When basic survival consumes all of a person’s energy, nurturing relationships and emotional stability often fall by the wayside. Over time, this neglect can perpetuate a generational cycle, as children raised in such environments may struggle to develop the emotional resilience and resources needed to break free from the same patterns of instability and deprivation. This underscores the profound impact of systemic poverty and housing insecurity on both immediate family dynamics and long-term generational outcomes.
Beyond the immediate impact on physiological and safety needs, housing instability also obstructs progress toward higher-level needs such as belongingness and esteem. Maslow’s theory emphasizes the importance of social connections and community for emotional well-being. However, frequent evictions and transience sever ties to neighborhoods, schools, and support networks. Arleen’s repeated displacements make it difficult for her children to form lasting friendships or excel in school, denying them a sense of belonging. Meanwhile, the stigma associated with eviction and poverty diminishes self-esteem, leaving individuals feeling marginalized and powerless.
The pinnacle of Maslow’s hierarchy, self-actualization, remains out of reach for those mired in housing insecurity. Self-actualization involves achieving one’s full potential and engaging in creative, meaningful pursuits. For the families in Evicted, however, the constant struggle to meet basic needs leaves little room for personal growth or self-discovery. Desmond’s narrative makes it clear that systemic barriers, such as exploitative landlord practices and inadequate housing policies, prevent individuals from escaping the cycle of poverty and realizing their potential.
There is no one-stop easy solution to the housing crisis. Desmond’s proposed solution—a universal housing voucher program—aligns with Maslow’s framework by addressing the foundational needs of shelter and safety. By ensuring access to stable and affordable housing, such a program would create the conditions necessary for individuals and families to focus on higher-level needs. Stable housing not only provides a physical structure but also fosters a sense of security, community, and dignity, enabling people to pursue education, build relationships, and achieve their aspirations.
Evicted serves as a poignant reminder that housing is far more than a physical structure; it is the cornerstone of human well-being. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs provides a valuable lens through which to understand the profound impact of housing insecurity on every aspect of life. Desmond’s work challenges readers to consider the moral and societal imperative of addressing housing inequality, not just as a matter of policy but as a matter of human dignity. By recognizing the essential role of stable housing in fulfilling human potential, we can take meaningful steps toward a more equitable and compassionate society.
Reference:
Desmond, M. (2016). Evicted: Poverty and profit in the American city. Crown Publishers.
Maslow, A. H. (1954). Motivation and personality. Harper & Row.
Click HERE to order your own copy of Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City**
**Affiliate link HERE
Non affiliate link click HERE
**An affiliate link is a unique URL provided by an affiliate program or network to their partners, such as bloggers or website owners. When someone clicks on an affiliate link and makes a purchase or completes a desired action, the affiliate partner earns a commission or other form of compensation. These links are specifically tracked to attribute sales or conversions generated through the partner’s promotional efforts. In summary, an affiliate link is a specialized link that allows partners to earn commissions by driving traffic and sales to a particular product or service.**
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The Golden Rule is often one of the first things we are taught as children. Unfortunately, many people tend to instead live by the Leaden Rule, which is quite the opposite of that rule: “Do unto others what you most fear having done unto you.” It’s an interesting concept, and it’s something we might do unconsciously, especially when we’re feeling insecure or threatened. The Leaden Rule can be a bit of a double-edged sword. It can lead to conflict, breed resentment, and leave us feeling isolated. What’s worse, it can keep us from forming those deep, meaningful connections we all need and want.
Several years ago, I discovered the Enneagram through my younger sister. It was an intriguing introduction to a personality framework that offers deep insights into the human psyche. The Enneagram goes beyond categorizing personalities; it provides a tool for introspection, self-growth, and development. Over time, I’ve found it invaluable in understanding my own motivations and behaviors, and in cultivating a journey of intentional growth and self-awareness. By examining the deeper patterns that drive my actions, I’ve been able to develop greater emotional intelligence and make more conscious choices about how I interact with myself and others.
The Leaden Rule is an interesting concept I encountered while exploring the Enneagram, introduced by Don Riso and Russ Hudson in The Wisdom of the Enneagram. This rule—“Do unto others what you most fear having done unto you”—exposes a darker side of human nature. When fear takes hold, it can lead to a cascade of negative thoughts and assumptions about others. For instance, if we fear rejection, we may assume that nobody genuinely likes us. If we fear betrayal, we might become suspicious of the people we care about most. This tendency to think the worst of people stems from a self-protective mechanism—we’re trying to shield ourselves from potential harm or disappointment. The Leaden Rule starkly contrasts with the Golden Rule, urging us to treat others as we want to be treated. It highlights how, driven by fears and insecurities, individuals may act out against others in ways they themselves dread, creating toxic interactions and reinforcing a cycle of negativity [2].
The roots of the Leaden Rule often lie in childhood experiences and attachment styles, where core fears and desires are formed. Each Enneagram type manifests this rule differently, reflecting their unique struggles. For example, a person driven by a fear of rejection might preemptively push others away, while someone who fears vulnerability may dominate conversations to avoid feeling exposed. Such behaviors can lead to damaged relationships and hinder personal well-being, perpetuating a self-fulfilling prophecy [2].
Recognizing and overcoming these tendencies requires self-awareness and empathy. Instead of implementing the Leaden or Golden Rule, another option is the Platinum Rule—treating others as they want to be treated—offers an alternative path. By understanding and addressing core fears, individuals can develop healthier interactions and relationships. This shift not only reduces harmful behaviors but also encourages personal growth, aligning actions with values of compassion and understanding.
My own journey of growth has been shaped by insights like these. In stepping away from the constraining Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) mindset, I began to embrace a broader perspective on life and relationships. I’ve learned to focus on what I can control—my reactions—even when my inner self feels “spicy.” It’s a continual practice of introspection and intentionality, guided by principles like those found in the Enneagram.
The relevance of the Leaden Rule extends beyond personal interactions, influencing societal dynamics as well. For instance, the fears surrounding political leadership, such as the return of Donald Trump to the presidency, can trigger Leaden Rule behaviors on a collective level. Polarization, erosion of democratic norms, misinformation, and social division are examples of how these fears might manifest[5][6]. Although some members of MAGA might seem intimidating, it’s important to recognize that they, like many others, may be operating under the Leaden Rule due to past hurts and fears. Their actions, while potentially concerning, often stem from a place of vulnerability and a desire for protection rather than malice[2]. Addressing such tendencies requires empathy, dialogue, and a commitment to democratic principles, creating unity even amidst uncertainty. By understanding the underlying fears and insecurities driving these behaviors, we can work towards bridging divides and promoting mutual understanding in our society[1, 2,7].
My exploration of the Enneagram and its teachings has not only enriched my understanding of human behavior but has also been a catalyst for self-improvement. Concepts like the Leaden Rule challenge me to confront my fears and break cycles of negative behavior, striving instead to act with empathy and authenticity. This journey of growth has been transformative, empowering me to navigate life with greater clarity and resilience.
I think the key is to be aware of the Leaden Rule and not let it take over. When I am feeling vulnerable, I’ve been trying to take a moment to ask myself if I’m projecting my own fears onto others. Instead, I’ve been trying to put the Golden Rule into action and treat others the way I’d like to be treated – with respect, kindness, empathy, and genuine understanding. By approaching each interaction as an opportunity to demonstrate compassion, I’ve found that people respond more positively, relationships become more meaningful, and I feel a deeper sense of personal integrity and connection. It’s nice to expect the best intentions from people instead of constantly being on guard and suspecting the worst. This shift in mindset has made my daily interactions much more pleasant and less stressful.
If you are interested in learning more about the enneagram and finding out what your enneagram type is, you can check out this free test by clicking HERE or visiting https://www.truity.com/
Disclaimer: The information provided is based on general knowledge and personal experience and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment. While I am a registered nurse, I am not your personal healthcare provider. It is advisable for you to consult with your own designated healthcare professional to determine the best course of action for your specific situation for personalized guidance and recommendations tailored to your specific needs.
Reference:
Riso, D. R., & Hudson, R. (1999). The wisdom of the enneagram: The complete guide to psychological and spiritual growth for the nine personality types. New York, NY: Bantam
Citations:
[1] https://www.123helpme.com/essay/Philosophy-Are-Humans-Born-to-be-Good-282810
[2] https://www.kirtanleader.com/blog/enneagram-which-way
[3] https://www.gutenberg.org/files/10739/10739-h/10739-h.htm [
4] https://www.aliciakennedy.news/p/the-many-voices-of-one-writer
[5] https://carnegieendowment.org/research/2022/01/what-happens-when-democracies-become-perniciously-polarized
[6] https://www.icip.cat/perlapau/en/article/polarization-harms-democracy-and-society/
[7] https://www.facinghistory.org/resource-library/political-polarization-united-states
I won’t hide the fact that I am struggling to come to terms with the results of the 2024 election, which did not go the way I expected. However, I am a firm believer in voting, democracy, and free and fair elections. Because of that belief, I must accept the outcome. But accepting it doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Since November 5th, one question has been on my mind repeatedly:
While I don’t claim to have all the answers or fully understand it myself, here is what I’ve concluded about why people vote the way they do. But first a disclaimer…
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are my own. Since I live in a free country with the right to free speech, I am entitled to share my perspective, just as those who disagree with me or vote differently are entitled to theirs. What I consider to be my own best interest may be entirely different from what someone else considers to be theirs. Political beliefs and priorities are deeply personal and shaped by a variety of factors, and this diversity of thought is a cornerstone of democracy.
Throughout history, individuals and groups have often cast votes that appear to conflict with their own economic, social, or personal well-being. While it might seem counterintuitive, voting against perceived best interests is a complex phenomenon influenced by a range of factors, including misinformation, economic anxiety, cultural values, and identity politics. Understanding these factors provides insight into the motivations and behaviors that drive electoral outcomes.
One significant reason people vote against their interests is exposure to misinformation or disinformation. In an era where information is readily accessible, false or misleading narratives can spread quickly through social media, partisan news outlets, and word of mouth. When voters make decisions based on inaccurate information about candidates, policies, or their potential impacts, their choices may inadvertently harm their own interests. For example, during elections, certain campaigns might exaggerate the benefits of policies or obscure their potential drawbacks, leading to uninformed decision-making.
Economic instability and uncertainty often make voters more susceptible to rhetoric that appeals to their immediate fears rather than long-term interests. Populist and nationalist candidates, for instance, may promise quick fixes to economic woes, such as job creation through protectionist policies, even if these measures ultimately harm broader economic stability. This phenomenon is especially pronounced during periods of recession or financial crisis, where the allure of immediate relief overshadows more sustainable but less emotionally resonant solutions.
For many voters, social and cultural issues take precedence over economic considerations. Questions of morality, identity, and cultural preservation can shape voting behavior more powerfully than financial concerns. For instance, voters may prioritize policies on issues such as abortion, gun rights, or immigration, even if those policies have no direct economic benefit or potentially disadvantage them. This prioritization highlights how values and identity play a critical role in electoral decision-making.
Strong allegiance to a political party can also lead individuals to vote in ways that diverge from their own interests. Partisan loyalty often acts as a heuristic, simplifying the decision-making process by aligning voters with candidates from their preferred party, regardless of the candidates’ specific platforms. This phenomenon can be observed when voters consistently support their party’s candidates even when those candidates’ policies contradict their personal or economic interests. Such behavior underscores the emotional and psychological bonds voters form with their political affiliations.
Political disengagement and a lack of information also contribute to voters’ choices. Some individuals may not fully understand the implications of policies or how government decisions affect their lives. Others may feel alienated from the political process or believe that their vote does not matter, leading them to make choices based on limited knowledge or to abstain from voting entirely. This disengagement can result in electoral outcomes that fail to reflect the true interests of the electorate. Your vote does matter!!!
As political scientist Thomas Frank argues, wealthier voters often treat moral values as “luxury goods,” emphasizing social issues over material concerns. This polarization has influenced political discourse, shifting focus from economic inequality to cultural battles. For lower-income voters, this dynamic can create a difficult choice: support policies aligned with their moral beliefs or prioritize their economic well-being. Similarly, racial and cultural identities often play a pivotal role in shaping voting behavior. For instance, working-class voters may support policies that reinforce cultural narratives or racial hierarchies, even when those policies undermine their economic interests.
In the United States, fundamentalist beliefs in religion and the free market shape voting patterns in unique ways. Many voters support candidates who advocate for deregulation and limited government intervention, driven by a belief in individualism and market efficiency. This ideological commitment often overrides practical considerations, such as access to healthcare or social safety nets, that might otherwise align with their economic interests.
The decision to vote against one’s best interests is often influenced by a combination of misinformation, emotional appeals, identity politics, and ideological commitments. Recognizing these factors is important for understanding voter behavior and creating a more informed electorate. Addressing the root causes, such as improving access to accurate information and encouraging civic engagement, can empower voters to make decisions that align more closely with their long-term interests and societal well-being.
I have a feeling there have been times when I’ve voted against my own best interests, whether out of misunderstanding or lack of information. However, I firmly believe that when we know better, we have a responsibility to do better. With that in mind, I’ve been making a conscious effort to educate myself, not only to become a more informed voter but also to be a more engaged and thoughtful citizen.
Here’s to four years of doing our best to stay safe, sane, and supportive of one another. Whether or not we agree politically, we’re all in this together, and we share a common hope for a brighter future.
God bless the USA.
Resources:
[1] https://inthesetimes.com/article/the-elite-vote-against-their-interests-too-democrats-republicans
[2]https://doi.org/10.1525/california/9780520293298.003.0007
[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-D2HXpYUcs
[4] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjNWRi-HjlQ
[5] https://mediahub.unl.edu/media/8546
[6] https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/12/31/trump-white-working-class-history-216200
When I first picked up Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City by Matthew Desmond, I had no idea what an impact it was going to have on me. This book was assigned to me for the graduate class I will be taking this semester, and since I started reading it, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Normally, I’m not one to reread books—there are so many I want to read and so little time—but as soon as I finished Evicted, I started rereading it. I also don’t usually buy books, preferring to borrow them from the library, but I have already purchased this one because I want to have it in my library.
The book is more than a work of sociological research; it is a piercing lens into the lives of individuals and families caught in the relentless cycle of poverty and housing insecurity. Desmond’s ethnographic approach brings to life the stark reality of poverty in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, during and after the 2007-2008 financial crisis, following eight families from diverse racial and socio-economic backgrounds. This isn’t just a book—it’s a call to witness and confront the systemic injustices that perpetuate poverty in the United States.
As someone who has worked in healthcare as a nurse and observed the barriers people face in accessing resources, Evicted forced me to look deeper at the intersection of housing and health. Desmond’s portrayal of eviction’s cascading effects—job loss, educational disruption, and mental health crises—highlighted how housing instability undermines all other aspects of well-being. I couldn’t help but think about the families I’ve encountered in my work who faced impossible choices: pay rent or buy groceries, prioritize medication or utilities. This book made it clear that housing insecurity is not just an individual issue; it’s a public health crisis.
Desmond’s meticulous research and vivid storytelling place readers inside the daily struggles of his subjects. I was struck by the resilience of families like Arleen’s, a single mother trying to provide for her children despite being evicted multiple times, and Lamar, a disabled man living in a dilapidated home while attempting to support his sons. These stories aren’t just anecdotes; they’re evidence of how deeply rooted inequities disproportionately affect vulnerable populations. The book’s exploration of how landlords profit from the desperation of tenants left me questioning the morality of a system that commodifies basic human needs.
One of the most eye-opening aspects of Evicted was its examination of the role landlords play in perpetuating poverty. Desmond’s research shows how the power imbalance between landlords and tenants allows exploitation to thrive. I couldn’t stop thinking about the devastating reality that eviction isn’t just a result of poverty—it’s a cause of it. The act of losing one’s home sets off a chain reaction of instability, making it nearly impossible to escape the grip of poverty.
Reading Evicted also prompted me to reflect on the structural changes needed to address these issues. Desmond’s proposal for a universal housing voucher program is both compelling and necessary. Ensuring that families have access to safe and affordable housing is a foundational step toward breaking the cycle of poverty. The book inspired me to think critically about how public health policies could better integrate housing solutions to improve overall community health.
This book left an indelible mark on me, not just as a professional interested in studying public health but as a human being. It reminded me of the importance of empathy and the need to amplify the voices of those who are often overlooked. Their voices must move beyond acknowledgment and become integral to shaping the conversations and decisions that affect them. They need a seat at the discussion table. The stories in Evicted are painful and infuriating, but they are also a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit.
Desmond’s work underscores a simple yet profound truth: where we live impacts how we live. Housing isn’t just about having a roof over one’s head; it’s about dignity, stability, and opportunity. Evicted compelled me to not only acknowledge the devastating realities of housing insecurity but also to consider my role in advocating for change. It’s a book that doesn’t let you look away, and for that, I am grateful to have had my eyes opened.
“It is only after we begin to see a street as our street, a public park as our park, a school as our school, that we can become engaged citizens, dedicating our time and resources for worthwhile causes: joining the Neighborhood Watch, volunteering to beautify a playground, or running for school board.”― Matthew Desmond, Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City**
Reference:
Desmond, M. (2016). Evicted: Poverty and profit in the American city. Crown Publishers.
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