Self-care Is More Than Gratitude Journaling, Lavender Baths, Candles, Meditation, Yoga, and Treating Yo’self
Like many people, I used to believe that self-care was all about simple acts of treating myself. I enjoy lighting a candle, taking a bath, reading a good book, gratitude journaling, and doing yoga. While these practices are enjoyable and provided a brief escape from the daily grind, I have come to realize that is not enough.
A turning point in my life led me to question the depth of my self-care practices. It was during a particularly challenging period when I found myself overwhelmed constantly prioritizing the needs and wants of others at the expense of my family and my own well-being. During this period of self-reflection, I started to realize the shortcomings of my shallow self-care practices. I couldn’t continue to treat myself poorly all day everyday and expect a Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino to solve all of my problems.
As I dug deeper into intentional personal growth, my perspective on self-care evolved significantly. It shifted from being solely about momentary relaxation to becoming a continuous dedication to my mental, emotional, and physical well-being. While I still valued lighting a candle and treating myself to a Frappuccino, they were no longer the sole basis of my self-care routine.
Self-care goes beyond lavender baths, candles, and yoga. While gratitude journaling is a positive thing, on it’s own it quite often is not enough. Self-care encompasses the holistic care of your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. It’s about tuning into your needs and desires and making choices that prioritize your overall health and happiness.
True self-care, I realized, strikes a delicate balance between the soothing moments of external pampering and the depth of self-compassion and boundary-setting. It is an ever-evolving journey, an exploration of nurturing both the external and internal dimensions of oneself, resulting in lasting change and genuine well-being.
Deeper self-care involves setting boundaries. It means learning to say no to things that don’t align with your values or that you simply don’t have time for. It also entails clear communication of your needs and expectations to others. (You can read more about what I have to say about setting boundaries by clicking HERE)
Setting boundaries became a pivotal aspect of my authentic self-care. I recognized that my habit of consistently saying “yes” to others often meant saying “no” to myself, my family, and my own needs. As I acquired the skill of assertively but kindly setting boundaries, I witnessed transformative changes not only in my relationships but also in how I valued and respected myself and my time.
Another facet is the practice of processing your emotions. This involves allowing yourself to feel the full spectrum of your emotions, both positive and negative, without judgment, giving yourself permission to experience them fully. It’s about recognizing that it’s okay to feel sadness, anger, fear, or any other emotion that arises. Rather than pushing these feelings aside or criticizing yourself for having them, you acknowledge their presence with compassion.
Talking to a therapist or a trusted friend can be immensely helpful, as it provides a safe space to express your emotions, gain insights, and receive support. (I am a verbal processor, it is extremely helpful for me to talk through my emotions with a trusted person. If you have ever been one of these people in my life know that I am forever grateful for you. )
Journaling is another powerful way to process emotions. I’m not talking about jotting down 3 things you are grateful for, but writing down your true inner thoughts and feelings. This allows you to explore and make sense of them. It can be a cathartic experience, helping you gain clarity and perspective on your emotions and the situations that trigger them. (Personally, I didn’t even realize some of my true thoughts and feelings until I started writing them out and working through them while journaling.)
For those inclined toward creative expression, such as art, music, or dance, these mediums can serve as valuable outlets for processing emotions. Creating art, whether through painting, sculpture, or other forms, can be a therapeutic means of channeling and externalizing what’s going on inside.
Self-compassion is yet another crucial component of self-care. It’s about treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even when you make mistakes, and accepting yourself for who you are, wounds, scars and all. I am learning to treat myself with the same tenderness and understanding that I readily extended to friends and loved ones. This shift in mindset is allowing me to confront my own struggles and emotions without harsh self-judgment, which has encouraged a sense of inner peace.
I made a deliberate shift in my self-dialogue by replacing negative self-talk with intentional positive affirmations. Instead of criticizing or doubting myself, I began consciously and regularly affirming my worth, capabilities, and potential. These positive affirmations have become a powerful tool to counteract self-limiting beliefs and boost my self-esteem. Over time, this practice not only transformed my mindset but also had a significant impact on my overall well-being.
Positive affirmations are powerful statements that can help shift your mindset towards a more optimistic and self-empowered outlook. Here are some examples:
- “I am capable of achieving my goals and dreams.”
- “I am worthy of love and respect.”
- “I am resilient and can overcome any challenges.”
- “I believe in my abilities and trust myself.”
- “I am in control of my thoughts and emotions.”
- “I embrace change and grow with every experience.”
- “I am grateful for the abundance in my life.”
- “I am at peace with my past, present, and future.”
- “I am constantly evolving and becoming the best version of myself.”
- “I deserve happiness, and I choose to be happy.”
- “I attract positive and supportive people into my life.”
- “I love and accept myself unconditionally.”
Taking care of your physical health is also vital. This encompasses maintaining a balanced diet, getting enough restful sleep, and engaging in regular exercise.
Listening to your body is an essential practice of self-care. It involves paying attention to physical cues, such as pain, fatigue, or discomfort, and responding accordingly. Pushing through pain or ignoring warning signs can lead to injury or worsen existing health issues. Tuning into your body’s signals and respecting its limitations is a form of self-compassion.
Just as important, seeking necessary medical care is integral to caring for your physical health. Regular check-ups with healthcare professionals, screenings, and addressing health concerns promptly are vital components of this self-care aspect. These actions enable early detection and prevention of potential health issues, ensuring you receive appropriate guidance and treatment when needed. Take it from an oncology nurse who has seen first hand, early detection saves lives, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!
Nurturing your spiritual side is an intrical part of self-care. It involves finding meaning and purpose through various means, including religious or spiritual practices, connecting with nature, or engaging in activities aligned with your values. This form of self-care provides inner nourishment, creating a sense of peace and fulfillment. It’s a personal journey that varies for each person, offering a source of strength and clarity to navigate life’s challenges.
Nurturing your spiritual side doesn’t have to look like the cookie cutter version of attending weekly church services. It can include meditation and mindfulness that cultivate inner peace and self-awareness. Spending time outside in nature encouraging a sense of interconnectedness with the world. Yoga promotes balance and alignment. Journaling and reading deepen your understanding of yourself and the world around you. Self-reflection and prayer fuels personal growth and connection with God. Volunteering provides fulfillment and purpose. Religious or spiritual rituals offer structure, community, and guidance, while connecting with like-minded communities provides support. These practices collectively contribute to a more meaningful connection with your inner self and the world around you. Whether through meditation, nature walks, or purpose-driven actions, spiritual self-care contributes to a deeper sense of well-being.
Here are some tips that have worked for me for cultivating a deeper self-care practice:
Begin by identifying your needs and areas in your life that require more attention in terms of self-care. Are you feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or burnt out? Are you feeling overworked and underappreciated? Is your physical health being neglected? Or do you need to nurture your spiritual well-being?
Explore activities that you genuinely enjoy and that uplift your spirits. This could range from reading a book to immersing yourself in nature or spending quality time with loved ones. Experiment with various activities until you discover what resonates best with you.
Prioritize self-care by scheduling dedicated time for it each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Remember, taking time for yourself is not selfish; it’s an essential act of self-care.
Be consistent in your self-care routine. It’s not a one-time endeavor but an ongoing practice that reaps benefits with regularity.
Self-care is a fundamental aspect of a healthy lifestyle. By tending to your well-being, you equip yourself to better handle stress, manage your emotions, and lead a more fulfilling life.
Self-care is highly individualized and not a one-size-fits-all approach. What brings comfort to one person may not resonate with another. The key is to find self-care practices that align with your preferences and lifestyle.
Disclaimer: The information provided is based on general knowledge and personal experience and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment. While I am a registered nurse, I am not your personal healthcare provider. It is advisable for you to consult with your own designated healthcare professional to determine the best course of action for your specific situation for personalized guidance and recommendations tailored to your specific needs.
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