Top Ten Lessons I Have Learned In Finding Faith Following Fundamentalism
Last year on July 18, 2023, I posted my first installment in my series called Finding Faith Following Fundamentalism. To be honest, I was so nervous about opening up and posting about my personal growth and decision to leave the church and beliefs that I held for my entire life. At the time I had no idea what the perception or push back might be. Don’t get me wrong, I am not delusional enough to think that this blog would have any major reach, but it still took courage for me to be vulnerable enough to put my thoughts and feelings out into the ether of the internet. Opening up about personal struggles and growth isn’t easy, especially knowing that my words could potentially be seen and judged by others. However, the act of sharing my story, no matter how small the audience, was important to me.
I realize some of you may be new to this blog and wondering what exactly I mean by “Find Faith Following Fundamentalism.” Or maybe you’re interested but don’t want to read a year’s worth of posts. To save you time, I’ve summarized all the posts I’ve shared over the past year into the top ten lessons I’ve learned. (Links are included at the end if your interest is piqued and you want to read more in-depth.)
1. Healing Takes Time
Healing from the scars of fundamentalism is a gradual process. I’ve realized that time and distance are essential for healing wounds. Speaking from a place of healing, rather than raw pain, has allowed me to share my story with more clarity and compassion.
2. Faith is Fluid
Faith, I’ve learned, is not static but dynamic and evolving. This past few years have shown me that it’s okay for my beliefs to change and adapt as I grow and learn. Embracing this fluidity has allowed me to develop a more nuanced, deeper, and resilient faith. Life is not black and white and my faith based beliefs don’t have to be either.
3. The Power of Questioning
One of the easiest parts of being in a Fundamentalist religion is not having to think for yourself. The rigid views tell you what you are supposed to believe and how you are supposed to think. Questioning long-held beliefs was daunting at first, but it has proven to be incredibly liberating. I’ve come to understand that questioning is not a sign of weak faith but rather a path to deeper understanding and growth. Embracing curiosity and critical thinking has enriched my spiritual journey.
4. Embracing Authenticity
I’ve learned the importance of being true to myself. Breaking free from fundamentalism allowed me to explore and define my own beliefs, independent of rigid doctrines. My growth has been about discovering what truly resonates with my own beliefs and morals, leading to a more true and fulfilling spiritual life.
5. The Importance of Grace
Grace has been a recurring theme in my reflections through out this process. Extending grace to myself during moments of doubt and uncertainty has been essential. Grace requires nothing of me! Recognizing that I am a work in progress and allowing myself the space to grow and evolve has been a significant lesson. Extending grace to myself in turn has caused me to be more gracious to those around me.
6. Finding Community
Navigating this path alone would have been challenging. I’ve learned the value of finding and connecting with a supportive community that understands and respects my journey. Whether through online communities, podcasts, books, or in person conversations, sharing experiences with others who have undergone similar transformations has been incredibly validating and comforting.
7. The Beauty of Empathy
Empathy has been an important aspect. Understanding that others may have different perspectives and respecting their view point, even if they diverge from mine, has been important. I have discovered the beauty of letting go of judgment, which has been important in building connections and creating mutual respect.
8. Strength in Vulnerability
Sharing my journey has required vulnerability, which I’ve come to see as a strength rather than a weakness. Fundamentalism often promises certainty, but true faith allows for growth and questioning. Opening up and admitting when I’m struggling was (and still is) a big step for me. It shows that I am strong enough to face my doubts and open up to new opportunities and possibilities.
9. Growth
I’ve learned that every struggle and every moment of doubt is an opportunity for growth. Though I will always continue to grow and learn, I am now trying to see challenges as stepping stones toward a deeper faith and fuller life.
10. Gratitude for the Process
Above all, I’ve learned to be grateful. Every step, whether joyful or painful, has contributed to my growth. Embracing change and seeking truth has a transformative power!
And here is one extra lesson for free. Time and Distance Makes a Big Difference!
Over time and with some distance from difficult situations, I’ve personally found that things do get easier. The weight of emotions lessen, and healing begins. Stepping away physically and emotionally and gaining perspective plays an important role in finding relief and strength. While everyone’s situation is unique, the saying “it gets easier with time and distance” holds some truth.
I shared this poem in my first Finding Faith Following Fundamentalism post. I would like to share it again today because it is still just as true today as when I first shared it.
Growth Lies In Discomfort
In breaking free, I found my voice,
Leaving fundamentalism, my choice.
Some may be upset, emotions may rise,
I share my truth, despite the cries.
For growth lies in discomfort, in open debate,
I embrace the challenge, I will not hesitate.
With understanding, to shed light.
With empathy, I seek to unite,
In sharing my story, my purpose is found.
Though reactions may vary, I hold my ground,
I now speak from a place of relief
My wounds have healed with renewed belief.
Here are links to some of my favorite posts from the last year:
Finding Faith Following Fundamentalism
Speak from the Scars Not the Wound
The Pressure of Perfection Growing Up Fundamentalist (Grace requires nothing of me!)
Sure, If That’s What You Want To Believe, Go For It…
Kindness Doesn’t Mean Weakness and Being Rude Doesn’t Imply Strength
The Power Of Taking Responsibly For Yourself
Does It Ever Get Easier? Do Time and Distance Make a Difference?
It’s Not Me, It’s You! What’s The Deal With Hyper-critical People?!
For God Hath Not Given Us the Spirit of Fear, But The Church Definitely Has (Part 1)
For God Hath Not Given Us the Spirit of Fear, But The Church Definitely Has (Part 2)
Disclaimer: The personal experiences shared in this post are based on my personal perspective. While I chose to leave the IFB to find a more gracious and loving community, it is important to acknowledge that individuals may have different experiences and find happiness within the IFB or any other religious institution. The decision to leave the IFB does not imply a loss of faith, as faith is a deeply personal and subjective matter. It is essential to respect and recognize the diversity of experiences and perspectives within religious communities. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice, guidance, or a universal representation of the IFB or any religious organization. It is recommended to seek guidance, conduct research, and consider multiple perspectives when making personal decisions or exploring matters of faith.
Looking Joli Good 