Abstract/TL;DR: Sundays used to be a struggle for me while I was in the IFB community, causing anxiety and exhaustion. Leaving the community brought freedom and relief, allowing for relaxation and self-reflection on Sundays. Napping became a necessary emotional recharge, but after leaving, it transformed into a source of enjoyment and rejuvenation. Listening to my body has been transformative, leading to self-compassion and setting boundaries. Now, I no longer push myself beyond my limits and embrace a healthier lifestyle.

If you have been following along with my recent pivot from beauty content to talking about my personal and spiritual growth, thank you! I am being mindful of how often I bring up my experiences in the Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) community. I’m trying to refrain from being too negative. With 40 years of information to process through, I’m thoughtfully deciding what to share openly and what to keep private. I genuinely appreciate your patience and understanding as I work through all of this and selectively share.

Back when I was still attending church in the IFB community, Sundays were always a struggle for me. I would wake up and immediately feel the weight of the day ahead. I dreaded getting ready, feeling uptight and anxious the entire morning. During my last few years in that community, I was also suffered with frequent migraines and constant neck pain. Despite being a short distance, the drive to church was the worst. I would often feel my heart racing, my shoulders tense, and my palms sweating with anticipatory anxiety. As soon as we stepped through the door of the church, I sensed the pressure to be constantly “on.” It was as if one wrong move could instantly make me fodder for gossip. The pressure and expectation to be perfect was overwhelming.

Leaving the church after the morning services, I would be physically and emotionally drained. The pressure to fit in and the fear of being judged weighed heavily on my mind. At times, I found myself questioning my own thoughts and actions, wondering if they aligned with the expectations of the church. The combination of the lengthy sermons and the pressure to conform to a specific system of rules left me utterly exhausted. Only then to dread returning later that evening for a second round of services.

While some seemed to feel uplifted and rejuvenated by the services, I felt depleted. Like a battery that has been drained of its power.

Napping on Sunday afternoons between services became a necessity for me to survive the rest of the week. If I didn’t take that nap, I would be completely spent, struggling to find the energy to face the challenges ahead. It almost felt like a mandatory emotional recharge to make it through the coming days.

However, things changed when I decided to leave the IFB community. As I stepped away from that environment, I noticed a remarkable shift in my mental and emotional well-being, along with a sense of freedom and relief, I no longer constantly felt exhausted.

No longer bound by rigid expectations and exhausting routines, I discovered a newfound vigor. With the weight of the IFB teachings lifted, the overwhelming need for Sunday afternoon naps dissipated. I found myself energized and excited about the week ahead, free from the mental and emotional exhaustion that once plagued me. Rather than being confined to a routine, instead of requiring sleep, Sundays became a time for relaxation, time with my family, and pursuing activities that genuinely brought me joy, rather than a struggle to recover from draining obligations.

I no longer need Sunday afternoon naps because I’ve freed myself from the constraints of that community. This has also taught me the importance of listening to my body. For a long time I was pushing myself to “do what is right” despite the physical and emotional pain it was causing me. Stepping away from that community, it became clear that taking care of myself was not a sign of weakness or selfishness, but an elementary act of self-respect and self-preservation.

Learning to listen to my body’s signals has been transformative. I now recognize the value of self-compassion and the significance of setting boundaries to protect my well-being. It has enabled me to break free from the cycle of pushing myself beyond my limits and has allowed me to embrace a healthier and more fulfilling way of living. If a situation or group is consistently causing me to have a racing heart, tense shoulders, and sweating palms, migraines, and exhaustion, that situation needs to be reevaluated.

I now take naps for enjoyment, not out of necessity. Instead of using naps as a means to recover from mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausting religious obligations, I now see them as a way to recharge my mind and body. The shift from feeling compelled to rest as a means of survival, to choosing to rest for enjoyment has brought contentment. Each nap is now an opportunity to pause, unwind, and simply rest.

Disclaimer: The personal experiences shared in this post are based on my personal perspective. While I chose to leave the IFB to find a more gracious and loving community, it is important to acknowledge that individuals may have different experiences and find happiness within the IFB or any other religious institution. While I was happy attending the IFB for many years, I began to feel overwhelmed and stifled. The decision to leave the IFB does not imply a loss of faith, as faith is a deeply personal and subjective matter. It is essential to respect and recognize the diversity of experiences and perspectives within religious communities. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice, guidance, or a universal representation of the IFB or any religious organization. It is recommended to seek guidance, conduct research, and consider multiple perspectives when making personal decisions or exploring matters of faith.