Have you ever set a goal for yourself then worked incredibly hard doing everything right to make it happen, only to be disappointed with a slip-up? Yup, that was me the other day.
I got upset at my failure and started to feel disappointed in my myself.I found myself at that juncture of two choices…. I could either let the disappointment derail me, ignore all the previous progress that I had made and forget about the whole thing, or realize that I made a mistake, learn from it, and move forward.
To be honest, I wanted to give up and slip back into old habits. Change is so hard! Making the right choice is not usually easy!
I woke up this morning with these verses from Lamentations 3:18-25 on my mind…
18 And I said, My strength and my hope is perished from the Lord:
19 Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood, and the gall.
20 My soul hath them still in remembrance and is humbled in me.
21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed because his compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
Today is a new day. Each morning is a new start.
I had to realize I had been putting my hope in something that disappoints…myself. God has a better plan for me than I could ever imagine for myself. I had to repent of my pride and remind myself that God is my portion and hope.
Are you like me? Are you also having a hard time struggling with a disappointment? Maybe like me even a bit of pride too? (Ouch!) Life is hard and change is inevitable. So let’s encourage each other and help one another out!
We all want to be happy, but yet often we are our own worst enemies! I know that quite often the only reason that I am unhappy is that I choose to be. Here are 6 quick way to ensure that you are unhappy!
1.Have Unrealistic Expectations
Unmet expectations will almost always be the cause of your unhappiness in life.
Unmet expectations are usually what causes anger as well. It is not always easy to admit that the true source of your anger and unhappiness is from not getting what you wanted!
Minimize your expectations, maximize your joy.
2. Have Uncommunicated Expectations
Guess what? No one is a mind reader! Can you believe it?! It is true.
If you want someone in your life to do something, first they need to know what you want from them. Don’t get upset when you expect something from someone that they have no clue about.
Give the people in your life the opportunity to choose whether or not they want to meet your expectations.
3. Don’t Be Honest With Yourself
Sometimes, I have to stop and ask myself “Why am I doing what I am doing?” Sometimes I know exactly why. Sometimes the answer is clear and positive. Sometimes I don’t really know what my motivation is.
Sometimes I have to really take a step back and be honest with myself, “What do I want out of this situation?” I don’t always like the answer that I have to give myself.
The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity. Proverbs 11:3
4. Don’t Be Honest With Others
So many ugly situations in life could be avoided if we were to live by the simple truth of “Say what you mean and mean what you say!”
Do you want to host Easter dinner? Nope.
Then when you are asked to host, be honest about it and say “No.” Don’t say you will host and then make it clear to everyone around you that you don’t want to have them at your house.
Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred. Proverbs 15:17
Are you upset because someone hurt your feelings? YES!
Tell them the truth about the way you feel, don’t say “Nothing” when asked what is wrong. If it is important enough to you to make you upset, it should be important enough for you to share.
Be respectful of the relationship and give them the chance to correct the situation.
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18
photo credit: Bible app
5. Assign Intent To Others
On a daily basis, we can find a something to get offended about.
What happened?
Your friend didn’t like your IG photo.
Your co-workers went to lunch without you.
Your sisters got together for a playdate with their kids and you weren’t included.
Two people you know were having a serious conversation and didn’t acknowledge you.
Your friends had a girl’s night out and you couldn’t go.
Don’t take things personally! Almost always, people are not against you, they are just for themselves.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13
Photo credit: Bible app
If you want to be unhappy give intent to the unintentional things that other people do!
6. Compare your life to others.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”-Theodore Roosevelt
In this world of social media, it is so hard not to get sucked into comparing ourselves with others. Due to social media, we see so much more of people’s “private” lives.
The problem is that we are usually comparing all of our flaws with the snapshots of an edited filtered picture perfect life. Their reality is that they also have flaws that we do not see.
Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,5 for each one should carry their own load. Galatians 6:4-5
Stop it! Be grateful for what you do have!
Follow these simple steps to have a completely unhappy life! 😉
Have you ever watched the show on TLC called Hoarding: Buried Alive? So. Much. Stuff. Just watching that show makes me feel anxious!
I love organization, I love when everything has a place to go! I hate clutter! Clutter actually gives me major angst! Usually, if my house and surroundings are cluttered it is a sure sign that my mind and soul feel cluttered as well.
Quite often, when things in my life get hectic, and I have a lot on my to-do list or there are important decisions to be made, I tend to be a hoarder of information. I look for more and more input and advice, rather than less.
During these times, I often put the cart before the horse and start thinking about the “what ifs” and “but maybes” of potential situations… I basically become filled with clutter in my mind. Instead, I need to take a minimalist approach to my daily decisions and plans for the future! I need to clean out the clutter in my mind.
While I am in no way a minimalist, I love the idea of minimalism. I recently heard minimalism defined as “not owning nothing, but instead that nothing should own you.” What a simple way to put it!
The Bible says in Ps 46:10 says Be still and know that I am God.
Stillness is to the soul as de-cluttering is to the home. By taking some quiet time for reflection with God’s word, I am making space to quiet my mind, to clean out the clutter, to be still, and hear God’s voice.
There are often times that I start thinking… and one thing leads to another… and my thoughts stray from what is honest, just, pure, lovely and of good report.**
It is during these times that I not only pray for help and encouragement and read scriptures to remind me of God’s goodness and grace, but I also surround myself with praise songs.
Today has been one of these days… A song that has been speaking to my heart this morning is What A Beautiful Name by Hillsong Worship.
What A Beautiful Name by Hillsong Worship
You were the Word at the beginning
One With God the Lord Most High
Your hidden glory in creation
Now revealed in You our Christ
What a beautiful Name it is
What a beautiful Name it is
The Name of Jesus Christ my King
What a beautiful Name it is
Nothing compares to this
What a beautiful Name it is
The Name of Jesus
You didn’t want heaven without us
So Jesus, You brought heaven down My sin was great, Your love was greater
What could separate us now
What a wonderful Name it is
What a wonderful Name it is
The Name of Jesus Christ my King
What a wonderful Name it is
Nothing compares to this
What a wonderful Name it is
The Name of Jesus
What a wonderful Name it is
The Name of Jesus
How sweet is your name, Lord, how good You are
Love to sing in the name of the Lord, love to sing for you all?
Death could not hold You, the veil tore before You
You silenced the boast, of sin and grave
The heavens are roaring, the praise of Your glory For You are raised to life again
You have no rival, You have no equal
Now and forever, Our God reigns
Yours is the Kingdom, Yours is the glory
Yours is the Name, above all names
What a powerful Name it is
What a powerful Name it is
The Name of Jesus Christ my King
What a powerful Name it is
Nothing can stand against
What a powerful Name it is
The Name of Jesus
You have no rival, You have no equal
Now and forever, Our God reigns
Yours is the Kingdom, Yours is the glory
Yours is the Name, above all names
What a powerful Name it is
What a powerful Name it is
The Name of Jesus Christ my King
What a powerful Name it is
Nothing can stand against
What a powerful Name it is
The Name of Jesus
What a powerful Name it is
The Name of Jesus
What a powerful Name it is
The Name of Jesus
Philippians 4:8
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
2 Corinthians 10:5
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
I hope that you can find some encouragement from this song today as well.
The daily stuff, those responsibilities that seem more like a distraction, those things we want to rush and get through to get on with the better and bigger assignments of life, those things that are unnoticed places of service, they are the very experiences from which we unlock the riches of wisdom. We’ve got to practice in the everyday places of our lives.
Never despise the mundane. Embrace it. Unwrap it like a gift. And be one of the rare few who look deeper than just the surface.
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.”
Every once in a while I stop and ask myself “Laura, why are you doing what you are doing?” I made a decision about 6 months ago to stop doing things for the wrong reasons. I decided that if something is not bringing joy in my life I need to stop doing it. I can’t say that in the last 6 months I have always followed that decision, but I have tried to keep a check on my motives.
Proverbs 16:2 All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the LORD weighs the motives.
Psalm 139:1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
Jeremiah 12:3 But You know me, O LORD; You see me; And You examine my heart’s attitude toward You.
Jeremiah 17:10 I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.
“Why are you doing what you are doing?”
After making some changes, I have had more peace in the last few months than I have had in a long time. I will continue to ask myself “Why are you doing what you are doing?” and I will also continue to answer myself honestly. Sometimes being honest with ourselves about our motives is one of the hardest parts.
There have been times that social media has been more of a drain on me than an enjoyment, so I have chosen to distance myself from it. There have been people in my life that have been more of a drain on me emotionally than an enjoyment, so I distanced myself from them. The choice isn’t always permanent, but sometimes a bit of separation gives a chance to get things back into proper perspective.
Instead of letting others determine what we do, what we wear, how we decorate our houses, where we choose to go, we need to make choices for ourselves. We should only be trying to make right choices for ourselves and the people and things that are truly important to us.
Saying yes all the time won’t make me Wonder Woman. It will make me a worn-out woman.
I am not talking about becoming self-centered, I am talking about becoming secure in yourself and making choices for yourself, not because of what other people want or what “they” will think.**
I heard this song the other day and the message of it really made me think. It is so similar to what I have been pondering the last few months. What really matters is that when I am alone with myself, do I like the person that I am on the inside?!
Try by Colbie Caillat
Put your make-up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim so they like you, do they like you?
Get your sexy on
Don’t be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong, so they like you
Do you like you?
You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to, give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
You don’t have to try
Mm, mm
Get your shopping on, at the mall, max your credit cards
You don’t have to choose, buy it all, so they like you
Do they like you?
Wait a second, Why, should you care, what they think of you When you’re all alone, by yourself, do you like you? Do you like you?
When you’re all alone, by yourself, do you like you?
You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to, give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing
You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
You don’t have to try
Mm, mm
You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to, give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
You don’t have to try
Take your make-up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror, at yourself
Don’t you like you?
‘Cause I like you
**A great book with a lot of great information about a similar topic is The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst. She is the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the New York Times bestselling author of Uninvited. (Totally not sponsored at all, I just really enjoyed the information in this book.)
The world we live in is a scary and mean place. The best way to change it is to be the change in it. We can start one person at a time by teaching our children to be different than all the others.
This is how they’ll change the world, by us teaching them to be kind, offer help, be a friend, and look for the good!
I had a wonderful day filled with indulgence in lots of delicious foods that I haven’t allowed myself to eat in a while. Look at that Stuffed French Toast!!!
When I was younger I used to think that being “old” must be terrible. I was totally wrong!
So far I have appreciated life during my 30s so much more than I did in my 20s.
A lot of that appreciation has come with natural maturity as well as lessons that can only be learned through living life.
Beautiful flowers I got for my birthday from my husband and kids.
Here is a simple list of a few of the things I have learned during the first half of my thirties…
Always wear sunscreen!
That beautiful smooth skin will not stay smooth and beautiful for long. If you keep getting “just a little burn” everytime you’re out in the sun, it will turn into something less than beautiful as time goes on!
Exercise is so fun!
I hate to admit is, but before I was in my 30s, I didn’t see the necessity of daily activity/exercise. I’m glad that this is a lesson I learned at the beginning of my 30s, and I plan to continue with this healthy lifestyle.
I cannot eat whatever you want and stay thin/healthy!
I really wisht that this wasn’t true. Unlike the exercise lesson, this one I just recently really learned and I am glad that I have finally learned how to eat healthy.
The book is always waaaaaaay better than the movie! I didn’t start reading for pleasure until I was 31. It took me 31 years to realize that one of the most enjoyable things in my life could be found at the library!
Don’t say I don’t like a food until I have tried it.
I have always been a very picky eater! On my 30th birthday, we went out to a very fancy restaraunt for dinner. Instead of ordering the food “without this” or “with this instead of that”, I decided right then to for once just order it the way it was found on the menu. That meal was one of the best I have ever had, and itchanged my eating/ordering habits.
People are NOT against me, they are FOR themselves.
Stop and think about this one, this was an epic lesson!!! No one is actually working against me, they are working for what is best for themselves. It is not about you, it is always about them.
Stop doing things that make me unhappy.
I’m not talking about necessary responcibilities, I’m talking about the added stresses we put onto ourselves. If you don’t want to do it, just say no. Once you say “no” a few times it gets a lot easier to say.
Happiness is not determined by what is happening around you but instead by what is happening inside of you!
It is ok to distance myself from relationships that are not healthy.
We all have them, those people who we feel obligated to hang out with even though we don’t enjoy being around them. I refer to these people as fattning food/nap people. Because after spending time with them I feel like I need to eat something fattening and take a nap. Just because you have known someone for several years doesn’t mean that you have to stay “close” friends. If you feel depressed and tired after spending time with someone, it is time to let that relationship go! I always tell my children, you can still be kind to someone without having to be best friends.
It is ok to be afraid, just don’t let fear be the thing that controls me.
Be motivated by your fear to to things that make you uncomfortable. Some things are not as scary as you may think they are. You’ll be amazed at how strong you really are when your fear is faced and overcome. II Timothy 1:7 says “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
These are some of the lessons that stick out in my mind. I am sure that there are lots and lots more, but I will save those for another post. I’m so glad that every day is an opportunity to start over and learn new lessons!
Instead, I need to take a minimalist approach to my daily decisions and plans for the future! I need to clean out the clutter in my mind.
Looking Joli Good 
