If you have been reading my posts the last few months you know that I have been working through some things over the past few years!! Truly forgiving is one of the hardest things I have been working on.

Forgiving someone can be such a tricky thing. I’ve noticed that there are certain people who are just easier for me to forgive than others. It’s not always easy to put my finger on exactly why, but I have been thinking about it a lot and I think there are a few reasons behind it.

First off, it really depends on the severity of what they did. If it’s just a small mistake or a minor offense, of course I tend to let it slide more easily. We’re all human, after all, and we all make mistakes. So, when it’s something small, it’s easier for me to brush it off and move on.

But when it comes to more serious stuff, like intentional harm or betrayal, forgiveness becomes a whole different story. It’s harder to forgive when you feel like someone purposely hurt you or had bad intentions. In those cases, it takes a lot more soul-searching and understanding to find it in my heart to forgive.

Another big factor for me is how the person handles the situation afterwards. If they show genuine remorse and actively try to make things right, it’s much easier for me to forgive. Seeing that they’re truly sorry and taking responsibility for their actions makes a big difference. It shows that they’re willing to change and make amends, and that goes a long way.

Trust is also a huge part of the equation. If I have a solid foundation of trust with someone, built through positive experiences and consistent behavior, forgiving them is a bit easier. Trust is the glue that holds relationships together, and when it’s intact, it’s easier to forgive.

Of course, personal history and past experiences also come into play. If I’ve been hurt in similar ways before, it can make forgiveness a bit more challenging. It’s hard to let go of past pain and wounds, and sometimes they can linger, making forgiveness feel like an uphill battle.

Lastly, my own emotional state plays a role too. If I’m in a good place emotionally, forgiving others becomes a little easier. But if I’m feeling overwhelmed by my own pain or holding onto resentment, forgiveness can seem like an impossible task.

It has taken me a long time to forgiving someone when they are not sorry, and while true forgiveness doesn’t always require them to be sorry, it does demand a significant degree of inner strength and personal growth. Forgiving someone who has hurt us, even when they show no remorse, is tough but it signifies our ability to rise above anger, resentment, and the desire for revenge, choosing instead to let go of the emotional burdens that have weighed us down.It’s more about how I choose to handle the situation and my own emotional well-being. Sure, it’s nice when someone shows remorse and apologizes, but I have some to realize that forgiveness is ultimately a personal decision. Sometimes, people can be unwilling or unable to admit that they’ve done something wrong. It can be frustrating and make forgiveness seem even more challenging. But here’s the thing: forgiveness is ultimately about me, not them.

I have learned the hard way not to feel like I need to wait for an apology before forgiving someone, sometimes I might be waiting forever. I have the power to choose forgiveness and let go of the weight that comes with holding onto grudges. I’ve come to think about it like this: forgiving someone is like giving yourself a gift. It’s about freeing yourself from the negative emotions and moving forward. So, even if the other person doesn’t apologize and will never apologize, I can still choose to forgive them for my own sake.

Of course, it doesn’t mean that I have to forget or pretend like nothing happened. I can still hold them accountable for their actions and set boundaries when needed. I have come to discover that forgiveness is about finding peace for myself, not necessarily about reconciling or continuing the same level of relationship.

When someone won’t admit their wrongdoing, it doesn’t mean you have to hold onto anger or resentment indefinitely. Holding onto those negative feelings can weigh you down and prevent you from moving forward. I have the power to choose forgiveness, regardless of whether or not they acknowledge their actions.

I often think of the thought-provoking statement: “Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free, only to realize that the prisoner was you.” When we hold onto grudges or refuse to forgive, it’s as if we’re keeping ourselves imprisoned by our own anger, resentment, and pain. We become trapped in a cycle of negative emotions that can weigh us down and prevent us from experiencing true peace and happiness.

When you choose to forgive, you’re not only extending compassion and understanding to others, but you’re also granting yourself the freedom to live a more joyful and fulfilled life.

Forgiveness frees the prisoner’s chains,
Only to reveal the captive remains.
The prisoner, not an external foe,
But the burdened heart that needed to let go.