When I was in my early twenties, our church hired a new assistant pastor who was young, newly married, and absolutely certain of his divine calling. He had just graduated from a fundamentalist Christian college and carried himself with the kind of overconfidence that only comes from immaturity and believing you speak directly for God. I can still picture him, red-faced, on his tip toes, shouting from the pulpit about issues he had strong opinions on but little real-world experience with. It was almost surreal watching someone barely out of adolescence lecture a congregation full of people who had lived, suffered, raised families, and endured life’s complexities with far more wisdom than he possessed. Yet in his mind, and according to the church culture that shaped him, his youth and inexperience didn’t matter. He had authority because he believed he spoke for God, and to question him was to question God Himself.

In many Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches, a deeply ingrained belief exists that to disagree with leadership is to disagree with God. This idea sometimes spoken directly and other times implied through tone, teaching, or culture creates a powerful dynamic of control cloaked in spirituality. It blurs the line between divine authority and human interpretation, replacing faith in God with obedience to men who claim to speak for Him.

At the heart of this mindset is the belief that the pastor, or any spiritual authority, is the ultimate mouthpiece of God. In this framework, questioning a sermon, a doctrine, or even a church rule is framed not as critical thinking or discernment but as rebellion against God. This form of spiritual absolutism discourages independent thought and replaces humility with authoritarianism. The message becomes clear: submission to leadership is equated with submission to God, and dissent is treated as sin.

What makes this mentality especially harmful is that it distorts the relationship between believers and their faith. Instead of encouraging a personal, living connection with God, it conditions people to rely on intermediaries for spiritual validation. Members are taught to mistrust their own understanding, intuition, or experiences if those do not align with the “man of God.” Over time, this erodes spiritual confidence and creates dependency on the church, on the pastor, and on the institution’s interpretation of truth.

The consequences reach beyond theology. When disagreement is equated with disobedience to God, abuse of power becomes easy to justify. A pastor can silence opposition by claiming divine authority, and members learn to suppress questions to avoid being labeled rebellious or unspiritual. This environment leaves little room for healthy dialogue, accountability, or growth. It can lead to deep confusion and spiritual trauma for those who eventually realize that human leaders can, and often do, misrepresent God, sometimes for their own nefariousness reasons.

Ironically, the Bible itself challenges this very kind of control. The Bereans in Acts 17:11* were commended for examining Scripture for themselves rather than accepting teaching without question. Jesus consistently condemned religious leaders who used their authority for self-exaltation. True spiritual maturity involves discernment, humility, and personal responsibility, not blind submission to any one person’s interpretation of divine will.

For many who leave the IFB or similar authoritarian religious systems, healing involves untangling God’s voice from the voice of those who claimed to speak for Him. It means learning that disagreement is not rebellion, and that asking hard questions can be an act of faith, not defiance. Reclaiming spiritual autonomy is both painful and liberating! It requires courage to trust that God welcomes honest searching far more than unquestioning conformity.

The phrase “If you disagree with me, you disagree with God” reveals more about human ego than divine truth. It reflects a fear of losing control rather than a desire for genuine understanding. Healthy faith allows room for conversation, correction, and even disagreement, because truth does not fear scrutiny. God’s authority does not need to be defended by intimidation or manipulation. When believers are free to think, question, and seek for themselves, faith becomes not a cage, but a living, breathing relationship with the Divine.

*Acts 17: 11 NLT  And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth.

Disclaimer: The personal experiences shared in this post are based on my personal perspective. While I chose to leave the IFB to find a more gracious and loving faith, it is important to acknowledge that individuals may have different experiences and find happiness within the IFB or any other religious institution. The decision to leave the IFB does not imply a loss of faith, as faith is a deeply personal and subjective matter. It is essential to respect and recognize the diversity of experiences and perspectives within religious communities. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice, guidance, or a universal representation of the IFB or any religious organization. It is recommended to seek guidance, conduct research, and consider multiple perspectives when making personal decisions or exploring matters of faith.