Abstract/TL;DR: Growing up with an “us vs. them” mentality, I was taught to interpreted the actions of others as attacks on my faith. However, I’ve come to understand that people are primarily driven by their own needs and circumstances. Jesus taught love, compassion, and unity, challenging divisions and emphasizing forgiveness. Recognizing that people are for themselves allows me to approach interactions with empathy and compassion, fostering unity amidst diverse perspectives. Bible verses emphasize love for others, unity, and breaking down divisions, reflecting Jesus’ teachings.

As I have recently mentioned, having grown up in a religious culture that often promoted an “us vs. them” mentality, where people were categorized as either “saved or part of the world,” “for us or against us.” I was taught to interpret the actions of others as a direct attack on my faith or values. I was told that it was personal, as if their choices were deliberate attempts to undermine my beliefs. Over the years I’ve heard a lot about being “persecuted” by “them”. (Persecution is when people or groups face mistreatment, discrimination, or harassment because of their race, religion, beliefs, or identity. It involves targeting them unfairly, denying their rights, and subjecting them to unfair treatment, ranging from verbal abuse to physical violence.)

However, since leaving that community, I have come to learn a valuable lesson: people are not against me, but rather for themselves. Meaning, people are primarily driven by their own needs, desires, and circumstances, they are not interested in what I am doing unless it personally affects them.

Recognizing that individuals prioritize their own interests has allowed me to let go of the notion that their actions are intentionally against me. Rather than being preoccupied with comparisons or seeking external validation, I now try to approach interactions with empathy and compassion, understanding that they, like me, are navigating their own unique journeys. (You know, it’s been pretty amazing to realize that people don’t care about what I’m doing even half as much as I do. It’s been liberating, to say the least!)

While controversial topics are not my usual focus in posts, I am going to make a quick exception. One area where many evangelicals feel persecuted by them is the belief in a “gay agenda” coming to attack their families. This belief can lead to polarization, discrimination, and resistance to LGBTQ+ rights, straining relationships and limiting open dialogue. The concept of a “gay agenda” is a subject of debate, (one I have personally heard preached from the pulpit on more than one occasion) with some viewing it as an alleged organized effort by the LGBTQ+ community to promote their rights by attacking traditional family values (while others consider it a dismissive term for their struggles for equality.) In reality, there are evangelical organizations that work against LGBTQ+ rights, but as far as I know there is no unified “gay agenda” working against evangelical families. There is diverse advocacy for civil rights and social acceptance among LGBTQ+ individuals, which does not threaten family units.

While this is a hotly debated topic, it is essential to approach the subject with nuance and open-mindedness. Just because someone is different than you does not automatically make them wrong. Treating people in the LGBTQ+ community with dignity, love, and respect is crucial, just as all humans deserve. Showing kindness and treating fellow humans with dignity should be the absolute minimum expectation for any Christian. If you claim to love God, you prove that by showing love to all people. I must also add, some of the kindest and most interesting people I know are LGBTQ.

Many evangelicals claim to be persecuted, yet their actions often involve persecuting those who differ from them. They might discriminate, stigmatize, and resist people and communities that don’t fit their beliefs. They come together to boycott companies that support organizations and people with which they don’t agree. Even though they support “Christian” companies, which sometimes engage in questionable nefarious actions.So, while they claim to be victims, they end up perpetuating discrimination and marginalization against others. It’s crucial to be aware of these contradictions and treat everyone with respect and empathy, regardless of their beliefs or identities.

Despite religious cultures that promote an “us vs. them” mentality, that mentality completely contradicts what Jesus consistently preached. He emphasized love, compassion, and unity among all people, regardless of their background or beliefs.

One of the central teachings of Jesus was to love one’s neighbor as oneself. This teaching encourages individuals to extend love, care, and understanding to all people, without discrimination or division. Jesus exemplified this by interacting with individuals from different walks of life, including social outcasts, sinners, and even those from opposing religious groups.

The Sermon on the Mount is one of the most well-known and significant teachings of Jesus found in the Gospel of Matthew (Matthew 5-7). In this powerful sermon, Jesus delivers a profound message that outlines the principles and ethics of the Kingdom of God.

The Sermon on the Mount covers a wide range of topics, including the Beatitudes (blessed are the poor in spirit, the meek, the merciful, etc.), teachings on love and forgiveness, the importance of being salt and light in the world, and the fulfillment of the law.

Jesus emphasizes the transformation of the heart, encouraging his followers to go beyond mere external observances of the law and focus on the attitudes and intentions behind their actions. He challenges his listeners to love their enemies, pray for those who persecute them, and practice humility, purity of heart, and peacemaking.

The central theme of the Sermon on the Mount is love. Jesus calls his disciples to love God with all their hearts and to love their neighbors as themselves. He teaches that love should guide their relationships, actions, and decisions.

Jesus often challenged the rigid divisions prevalent in his society and emphasized the importance of forgiveness and reconciliation. He taught his followers to love their enemies, bless those who curse them, and pray for those who mistreat them. This message encouraged his disciples to rise above the divisive mentality and approach others with compassion and forgiveness.

Additionally, Jesus emphasized the value of unity and community. He emphasized love, compassion, and kindness towards others throughout his ministry. His teachings encouraged his followers to treat all individuals with respect and empathy, regardless of their background, social status, or circumstances. He prayed for his followers to be united as one, just as he and God the Father were one. Jesus spoke about the Kingdom of God, which transcends worldly divisions and includes all who follow his teachings.

In the Gospels, Jesus often spoke about the importance of loving one’s neighbor as oneself (Mark 12:31) and treating others the way you would want to be treated (Matthew 7:12). He showed compassion towards marginalized and outcast individuals, embracing those who were considered social outcasts during his time, such as tax collectors, sinners, and lepers.

Here are a few Bible verses that correspond to Jesus’ teachings about love, unity, and breaking down divisions:

Love for Others:

• Mark 12:31: “The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”
• Matthew 5:44: “But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”

Unity and Oneness:

• John 17:21: “I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.”
• Ephesians 4:4-6: “For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.”

Overcoming Divisions:

• Galatians 3:28: “There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
• Colossians 3:11: “In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.”

These verses reflect Jesus’ teachings of love, unity, and breaking down divisions among people. They emphasize the importance of extending love to all, embracing unity, and seeing one another as equal members of the Kingdom of God.

Understanding that people are for themselves and not against me has created space for healthier connections and more positive interactions. By embracing this truth, I can bridge the divide that the “us vs. them” mentality often creates, encouraging dialogue and a sense of unity amidst our diverse perspectives.

If you are interested in reading about what I have to say about The Consequences of Being Forced to Make Black and White Choices in a World of Filled with Gray Nuance you can click HERE.

Disclaimer:  The experiences shared in this post are based on my personal perspective. My decision to leave the IFB does not imply a loss of faith, as faith is a deeply personal and subjective matter. It is essential to respect and recognize the diversity of experiences and perspectives within religious communities. Hatred towards any group of people is wrong, and no Bible verses can justify or support such hatred, regardless of how they may be interpreted or twisted. Love, compassion, and empathy should guide our interactions with others, promoting respect and understanding for all individuals, regardless of their background, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or identity.While I chose to leave the IFB to find a more gracious and loving community, it is important to acknowledge that individuals may have different experiences and find happiness within the IFB or any other religious institution. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice, guidance, or a universal representation of the IFB or any religious organization. It is recommended to seek guidance, conduct research, and consider multiple perspectives when making personal decisions or exploring matters of faith.While I speak from personal experience and perspective, I want to acknowledge that I come from a place of extreme privilege. I understand that I have the means and support to change my situation, which may not be the case for everyone. It is important to recognize that each individual’s circumstances vary, and not everyone has the same resources available to them.