When Thinner Isn’t Enough: Redefining Health and Happiness

January 16, 2025January 14, 2025 LauraJoli LookingJoliGoodLeave a comment

For many of us, the pursuit of thinness is ingrained as the ultimate goal—a marker of self-worth, discipline, and even happiness. Yet, for those who have reached their “ideal” weight and still found themselves unfulfilled, it becomes clear that thinness is not the answer. Losing one more pound or one more inch or being one dress size smaller is not going to make a difference. True health and happiness require redefining our relationship with our bodies, shifting our focus from appearances to holistic well-being. Here’s how to move beyond the constraints of trying to be thinner and embrace a more fulfilling life.

1. Redefine Your Idea of Health

Shift your focus from weight to overall well-being. Health is about more than the number on a scale; it encompasses physical, mental, and emotional wellness. Set goals that prioritize strength, energy, and vitality rather than aesthetics. For instance, aim to improve your endurance, reduce stress, or get better sleep rather than striving to fit into a smaller clothing size.

2. Reconnect with Your Body

Many of us lose touch with our bodies when we’re overly focused on weight loss. When I was focused only on my body’s aesthetics I would push through pain and soreness, ignoring my body’s cry for a break or a snack. Take time to listen to what your body needs. Practice intuitive eating by paying attention to hunger and fullness cues, and allow yourself to enjoy food without guilt. Explore activities that bring you joy, such as dancing, hiking, spending time outdoors, or yoga, rather than forcing yourself into workouts you don’t enjoy.

3. Address the Emotional Roots

For many, the desire to lose weight and be thin is rooted in deeper emotional challenges, such as low self-esteem, perfectionism, comparison, competition, or a fear of rejection. Consider seeking therapy or counseling to unpack these feelings and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Journaling, mindfulness, and meditation can also help you process emotions and build self-awareness. Personally, journaling has made a huge impact in helping me uncover the root cause of why I felt I needed to over-exercise and under-eat. Through reflection, I realized that these behaviors were driven by a desire for control and a belief that my worth was tied to my appearance, rather than my well-being. Writing allowed me to explore these feelings and gradually shift my mindset toward a healthier, more compassionate approach to my body.

4. Build a Supportive Environment

Surround yourself with people who support your journey to redefine health and happiness. Share your goals with trusted friends or family members who encourage self-acceptance and balance. Limit interactions with individuals or communities that promote diet culture or body shaming. If certain people or social media accounts leave you feeling bad about yourself, consider distancing yourself from them or unfollowing them.

5. Celebrate Non-Physical Achievements

Reframe your definition of success to include accomplishments that have nothing to do with your appearance. This could mean developing a new skill, achieving a professional milestone, or strengthening relationships. Celebrate the qualities that make you unique, such as your kindness, creativity, or resilience. Although losing my job and the ability to exercise due to an injury initially triggered an identity crisis, deciding to go back to school to get my Masters allowed me to redefine success by focusing on accomplishments unrelated to my appearance.

6. Embrace Imperfection

Understand that the journey to redefining health and happiness is not linear. There will be days when self-doubt creeps in or when old habits resurface. Approach these moments with compassion rather than judgment. Remind yourself that progress is about learning and growth, not perfection. Even at my lowest weight and fittest state, I still wasn’t satisfied with how my body looked. There was always something to improve, a flaw to fix, or an imperfection to tweak—it was never enough.

7. Seek Joy in Everyday Life

Remember that happiness is found in the small, meaningful moments of life. It’s in savoring a meal with loved ones, laughing until your cheeks hurt, or feeling the sun on your skin during a walk. By focusing on these experiences rather than an arbitrary number, you’ll discover a more profound sense of fulfillment. It wasn’t until I began embracing and savoring these small, meaningful moments that I realized how much my pursuit of bodily perfection had been shaping my perspective.

8. Challenge Societal Narratives

Lastly question the societal standards that equate thinness with success and beauty. Reflect on where these beliefs came from—media, family, or cultural norms—and consider how they’ve influenced your self-perception. Educate yourself on how to care for your body in a healthy way—by eating for nourishment, not for aesthetics or control. Learn to enjoy a balanced diet, allowing yourself the occasional treat. Focus on strength without pushing yourself too hard, and give yourself grace when you need rest. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight or striving for a certain body type, remember that health comes in many shapes and sizes.

Changing your mindset is not easy. Letting go of the identity you’ve built around being thin or fit can be deeply challenging. Changing your mindset is not easy. Letting go of the identity you’ve built around being thin or fit can be deeply challenging. When I began gaining weight and losing my fit physique, I experienced an identity crisis. I questioned my value and struggled to redefine who I was beyond appearances. The praise and compliments from others had always been a nice confirmation of a job well done, but as my physique changed, most people didn’t even notice. My biggest critic was always me. However, through time and self-compassion, I realized that my worth was never tied to my body shape. While the process was difficult, it ultimately led me to a deeper, more authentic understanding of myself and my happiness.

Redefining health and happiness means letting go of the relentless pursuit of thinness and embracing a life that prioritizes balance, joy, and authenticity. The pursuit of being thin and fit or having an interested in being healthy is by no means wrong, but it should not come at the expense of a well-rounded life. By challenging societal norms, reconnecting with your body, and addressing emotional well-being, you can move beyond the constraints of trying to be thinner and step into a more empowered, fulfilling existence. Remember, your worth is not determined by your weight but by the richness of the life you create.

You can read more about The Weight of Happiness by clicking HERE.

**I’ve included some resources and references below.**

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on eating disorders or disordered eating. The information provided is based on general knowledge and personal experience and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment. While I am a registered nurse, I am not your personal healthcare provider. It is advisable for you to consult with your own designated healthcare professional to determine the best course of action for your specific situation for personalized guidance and recommendations tailored to your specific needs.

**Resources:

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/eating-disorders/in-depth/eating-disorder-treatment/art-20046234

https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/eating-disorders

https://www.theprojectheal.org/

https://anad.org/

Flab to FAB · Health/ Fitness · Lifestyle

The Weight of Happiness: Why Being Thinner Isn’t the Answer

January 14, 2025January 9, 2025 LauraJoli LookingJoliGood4 Comments

Dressed up as Wonder Woman for a past church event called “Super Saturday”

In our image-obsessed culture, weight loss is often touted as the ultimate solution to unhappiness. Countless ads, social media influencers, and even well-meaning friends perpetuate the idea that shedding pounds will magically bring fulfillment. But for many, the pursuit of weight loss becomes a treadmill of physical and emotional exhaustion, leaving them further from true happiness than they began. My own journey is a testament to this reality: at my thinnest and fittest, I may have looked my best, but my mental and emotional health were in shambles. Only when I let go of the relentless pursuit of thinness did I find genuine contentment.

Years ago, I dedicated myself fully to becoming the “ideal” version of myself. I exercised rigorously, adhered to strict dietary guidelines, and prided myself on my discipline. Outwardly, the results were impressive. Friends and acquaintances showered me with compliments, admiring my fit physique and apparent self-control. It felt so good to be given so much praise, but beneath the surface, I was unraveling.

The mental toll of maintaining that lifestyle was immense. My thoughts were consumed by calories, macros, and workout schedules. I felt immense pressure to maintain my appearance, fearing that any deviation from my routine would erase all my progress. What’s more, I ignored the warning signs of burnout, convincing myself that my worth was tied to how I looked. Even though I appeared healthy, I was silently battling anxiety, self-doubt, and an overwhelming sense of emptiness. I felt the need to compare and compete with those around me.

This precarious balance came crashing down when I suffered an injury that significantly altered my ability to exercise. Suddenly, my meticulously crafted routine was impossible to maintain. Around the same time, I experienced a series of personal losses that shook me to my core. The weight of grief and the inability to channel my emotions into physical activity forced me to confront the truth I had been avoiding: I was deeply unhappy, and no amount of weight loss or fitness could fill the void inside me.

Initially, I struggled to adjust. Watching my body change felt like losing a part of my identity. But as I began to let go of the unrealistic expectations I had placed on myself, something remarkable happened. I discovered a sense of freedom I hadn’t felt in years. By allowing myself to relax and embrace a more balanced lifestyle, I found the space to heal emotionally and mentally.

Gaining weight, something I had once greatly feared so deeply, became a symbol of reclaiming my life. It meant enjoying meals with loved ones without guilt, spending time on hobbies that brought me joy, and prioritizing rest when my body needed it. I began to reconnect with who I truly was, apart from societal expectations or the number on a scale. For the first time in years, I felt whole. I felt happy. I felt content. I felt satisfied.

group of people making toast | lookingjoligood.blog

This journey taught me that the pursuit of thinness often comes at the expense of genuine happiness. While physical health and fitness is important, it should never overshadow mental and emotional well-being. True fulfillment comes from accepting ourselves as we are, imperfections and all, and building a life that aligns with our values rather than external standards.

Today, I am my truest, happiest self. My body may not fit my previous definition of perfection, but it is a vessel for a life filled with purpose, love, and joy. And that, I’ve learned, is far more valuable than any number on a scale. If you’ve been chasing weight loss as the solution to unhappiness, I encourage you to pause and reflect. Ask yourself what you truly need to feel whole. The answer, as I discovered, might not lie in losing weight but in finding yourself.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating, it’s important to reach out for support. Seeking assistance from friends, family, or mental health professionals can make a significant difference in navigating these challenges. Remember that you don’t have to face it alone, and there are resources available to help you on the path to recovery. Prioritize your well-being and take the first step toward seeking the support you need.

**I’ve included some resources and references below.**

**Resources:

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/eating-disorders/in-depth/eating-disorder-treatment/art-20046234

https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/

https://anad.org/

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/eating-disorders

https://www.theprojectheal.org/

Flab to FAB · Health/ Fitness · Jillian Michaels Body Revolution

Review of the Jillian Michaels Body Revolution Workout 5 and 6

June 29, 2018June 3, 2023 LauraJoli LookingJoliGoodLeave a comment

**Please see update below

I’ve mentioned this at the beginning of each of these Body Revolution reviews, but just in case this is the first one that you are reading…

The Body Revolution program consists of 3 phases that claim to lead to “total body transformation.” It is a 90-day program with 6 workouts a week and one day to rest. Each phase consists of 4 metabolic training workouts and one cardio workout. Each workout is “only” 30 minutes long. Even numbered workouts work the front of the body, odd numbered workouts concentrate on working the back of the body. Every workout works the abdominals.

What is included with the purchase of Jillian Michael’s Body Revolution:

15 DVDs
resistance cable
fitness guide
90-day journal
“customizable” 90-day fat-burning meal plan,
FREE 30-day web club access
bonus 7 day Kick Start Your Metabolism diet plan that will help to “detox your body and curb your food cravings or addictions.”

Here is the review of Phase 2 for Weeks 5 and 6:

Phase 2 Workout 5 for Weeks 5 and 6

What will you need?

Exercise mat
Medium resistance cable
Free weights (3, 5 or 8 lbs depending on your strength level)

Where can you expect to be sore the next day?

Chest
Shoulders,
Abs,
Triceps
Quads

The workout is broken down into 4 circuits; each of which are repeated once with one minute of cardio in between the circuit repetition.

Here is a breakdown of phase two workout five

Warm-up

Sun salutation:
exhale-fold down touch the ground,
raise half way with a flat back and exhale,
jump back into a plank pose,
down into a chaturanga pose,
Flow into up dog, exhale
down dog,
bend the knees look up
jump up to standing

Repeat 3 times.

Circuit 1:

Push Ups with a side plank rotation
Deep crescent pose with triceps pulses using light weights
Jumping Squats -advanced modification add weights (I seriously HATE these!)
Repeat exercise 2 on opposite leg.

Cardio -1 minute-Mountain climbers -repeat circuit 1

Circuit 2:

Static Lunge with Lumberjack rotation using heavy weight – right side-advanced modification add heavier weights
With light weights, drop and hold sumo and do arm presses ?
Static lunge with Lumberjack rotation using heavy weight – left side-advanced modification add heavier weights
Scissor abs

Cardio -1 minute-High knees -repeat circuit 2

Circuit 3:

With the cable, create a loop, step through into a deep crescent pose, pull the cable in and back to a “T position”
Crab exercise with right leg raised
Repeat the first exercise on the opposite leg
Repeat crab exercise with your opposite leg raised

Cardio -1 minute-Cable Punches

Repeat Circuit 3 with the exception of the cardio bit

At this point Jillian says she wants you to be able to have sex with the lights on and when your son ask you what that means you quickly tell him you don’t know what she is talking about and ask him to leave the room until you are finished. Oh Jillian, thanks a lot!

Circuit 4:

Medium cable row while seated on the mat wrap cable around feet and pull-advanced modification-wrap cable around again
Line tricep press
Repeat exercise 1 on opposite leg.
RepeatLine tricep press on opposite side.

Cardio -1 minute-Speed rope (like jump rope only a lot faster!)-repeat circuit 4

Cool Down/Stretches

When I feel like I want to quit, phone it in, or take an easier modification here is one of my favorite Jillian Michaels quotes that I tell myself all the time :

“Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going!”

Phase 2 Workout 6 for Weeks 5 and 6

What will you need?

Exercise mat
Medium resistance cable
Free weights (3, 5 or 8 lbs depending on your strength level)

Just like workout 1, workout 3 is focused on the front of the body. It incorporates some yoga moves as well as strength training. Right away you will notice that the workout is more intense than 1+2, but you will also notice how much stronger you already are.
Where can you expect to be sore the next day?

Chest
Shoulders,
Abs,
Triceps
Quads

The workout is broken down into 4 circuits; each of which are repeated once with one minute of cardio in between the circuit repetition. Some of these things are harder to name/explain.

Here is a breakdown of phase one workout one

Warm-up

Alternating Swing Kicks
Speed Rope
Single Knee Thrusts Right
Alternating Swing Kicks
Speed Rope
Single Knee Thrusts Left

Circuit 1:

Bent Rows Wide Grip Heavy Weight (palms face forward)
Cross over Curtsy lunge with Bicep Curls with Medium Weight
Plank Rows with Heavy Weights
Super Mans with Light Weights

Cardio -1 minute Rock Star Jumps-repeat circuit 1

Circuit 2:

Stork Stance With a Low Row Right Leg
Reverse plank (I HATE this! You’ll feel this in the shoulders, lower back, arms, and glutes)
Stork Stance With a Low Row Left Leg
Cable press Heavy Dumbbell Curls, all the way up all the way down

Cardio -1 minute Plyo jump with knee grab-repeat circuit 2

Circuit 3:

Statue of Liberty Single Leg Squat with Reverse Fly (Medium Sized Weight in the left hand raise the left leg)
Lunge Chops Heavy Weight right leg (I hate lunges, but I love these!)
Statue of Liberty Single Leg Squat with Reverse Fly (Medium Sized Weight in the right hand raise the right leg)
Lunge Chops Heavy Weight opposite leg (I hate lunges, but I love these!)

Cardio -1 minute-Running Man-repeat circuit 3

Circuit 4:

Lat Pulls with a High Crunch medium weight
Reverse Crunch Hip Lift (don’t swing the legs!)
Windshield Wipers R/L
Swat Swimg with one medium weight (I love these, but you will feel them the next day!!!)

Cardio -1 minute- ZigZag Jumps-repeat circuit 4

Cool Down/Stretches

As usual I was super sore from the workouts the first two days, (Once again, I woke up in the middle of the night in pain because I rolled over and my muscles were so sore from the workout!) but thankfully, after that not much at all. I knew I was going to be sore, so I took motrin before going to bed. 🙂

If you are interested in my review of Workouts 1-5 and Cardio 1 click HERE.

I hope this was helpful if you are trying to decide if Jillian Michaels Body Revolution is right for you!

Here is another one of my very favorite Jillian Micheals quotes:

“Your legs are not giving out. Your head is giving out. Keep going.”

I would love for you to follow me on Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook. You can find me as Looking Joli Good on all three.

**Update:

Initially, I found Jillian Michaels’ approach to exercise and dieting highly motivational. Her intense workouts and strict dietary guidelines pushed me to achieve remarkable physical results, which fueled my motivation and determination. I embraced her no-nonsense attitude and believed that pushing my body to its limits was the only way to achieve success. However, as time went on, I began to realize that this approach was taking a toll on my mental health. The relentless pursuit of physical perfection and the constant pressure I placed on myself led to feelings of anxiety, guilt, and a distorted body image. It was then that I decided to change my perspective and adopt a more balanced and loving approach to my body. By prioritizing self-compassion, listening to my body’s needs, and embracing acceptance, I discovered a newfound sense of mental well-being. This shift in thinking allowed me to find joy in movement, cultivate a positive relationship with my body, and ultimately, achieve a healthier and more sustainable approach to overall well-being.

Flab to FAB · Health/ Fitness · Jillian Michaels Body Revolution

Review of Body Revolution by Jillian Michaels Phase 1 Workouts 1 and 2

June 1, 2018June 3, 2023 LauraJoli LookingJoliGood3 Comments

**Please see update below.

What is included with the purchase of Jillian Michael’s Body Revolution:

The first phase is 4 weeks and includes workouts 1-4 and the cardio level 1 workout.

Here is a review of Phase 1 Workouts 1 and 2:

Phase 1 Workout 1 for Weeks 1 and 2

What will you need? an exercise mat and free weights (3, 5 or 8 lbs depending on your strength level)

While this phase is meant to be low impact you will still be sore when you first start out.
Where can you expect to be sore the next day?

Chest
Shoulders,
Abs,
Triceps
Quads

The workout is broken down into 4 circuits; each of which is repeated once with one minute of cardio in between the circuit repetition.

Here is a breakdown of phase one workout one

Get ready to squat! Regular squats, sumo squats, chair squats, and step out, step in squats.

Warm-up

Military March
Arm Circles
Hip Circles
Knee Circles