TL;DR: When someone offers you a gift and you choose not to accept it, the gift remains with the giver. Similarly, when someone tries to bring you down with their negativity and you don’t allow it to affect you, their negativity remains theirs. By refusing to internalize their toxic energy, you retain control over your emotions and maintain your self-worth. Taking responsibility for our own behavior and creating a positive space is essential in dealing with destructive emotions like jealousy and fostering unity and trust.

I recently had a significant realization, a true lightbulb moment, and I’m excited to share it with you! It’s something I’ve learned that has made a profound impact on me: When someone gives you a gift and you choose not to accept it, the gift still belongs to the person who offered it. By declining the gift, you are indicating that you do not wish to possess or take ownership of it. Therefore, the gift remains the property of the giver unless they decide to offer it to someone else or take it back.

The same is true when someone tries to bring you down with their negativity and you don’t allow it to affect you, the impact and ownership of their negativity remain with them. By refusing to internalize their negative words or actions, you are essentially declining to accept their toxic energy. Just like the unaccepted gift, their negativity continues to belong to them. It doesn’t become a part of you or define your worth. Instead, they are left holding onto their own negativity, while you retain control over your own emotions and maintain a sense of self-worth independent of their attempts to bring you down.

Let me share an example from my own life as I understand the situation. In my former community, there was a woman who, driven by her own struggles with competitiveness, insecurities, and social awkwardness, viewed my friendly nature and ease in social situations, along with other things, as a threat. In response, she attempted to undermine my confidence and make me feel inadequate for possessing these positive qualities that came naturally to me.

While I was initially unaware of her feelings, unfortunately, her jealousy began to seep into her interactions with me and she also actively attempted to negatively alter others’ perception of me. This occurred during a particularly rough period of my life, reflecting on that challenging time, I must honestly admit that I didn’t respond with the maturity and kindness that I should have. I have to take ownership of my own shortcomings in this situation. However, as I look back, I realize that had I simply refused to internalize her attempts to make me feel bad about myself, she alone would have been left with the negativity she intended to impose on me.

Looking back with this new perspective, had I rejected their toxic energy, and maintained control over my emotions and preserve my sense of self-worth I could have saved myself a lot of heartache and frustration. This experience sheds light on the destructive nature of jealousy, revealing its ability to erode unity and trust among peers.It’s important for me to remember that I am not responsible for the negative actions of others. However, I recognize the need to take responsibility for my own behavior and contribute to establishing a positive space for myself and those around me.

Disclaimer: It is important to understand that hurt people often have a tendency to hurt others. While this statement provides some insight into certain behaviors, it does not excuse or justify any form of harm inflicted upon others. It serves as a reminder to approach individuals with compassion and empathy, recognizing that their actions may stem from their own unresolved pain and struggles. Nonetheless, it is crucial to prioritize the well-being and safety of oneself and others, promoting healing and fostering healthy relationships.