Recently I have been thinking about the effects of comparison and competitiveness . I am not one of those crazy competitive people. I don’t get mad if I lose a game or get upset if I am not always #1. I don’t need to win at every single thing I do. I don’t feel the need to constantly prove to everyone that I am the best at everything. But…when it comes to certain things that I think I am good at I do have a super competitive spirit.
I think that having a spirit of competitiveness is both a good and bad thing. It is often nice to have competition to help give a push for us to be better. Some people bring out my good competitive side. These people make me want to be a better version of myself. A few years ago while at my husband’s Aunt’s funeral, I remember as everyone was talking about what a wonderful wife, mother, friend, and person she was, I was inspired to be a better person myself. She lived such a positive and influential life that I wanted to be a better person.
Other people bring out the negative competitive side of me and make me want to be better than they are. See the difference…While competition is not a bad thing, I think that comparison usually tends to be a negative thing. Knowing the difference between the two is not always easy.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”-Theodore Roosevelt
I think in this world of social media, it is so hard not to get sucked into comparing ourselves with others. Due to social media we see so much more of people’s “private” lives. The problem is that we are usually comparing all of our flaws with the snapshots of a edited filtered picture perfect life. Their reality is that they also have flaws that we do not see.
Sometimes, I have to stop and ask myself “Why am I doing what I am doing?” Sometimes I know exactly why. Sometimes the answer is clear and positive. Sometimes I don’t really know what my motivation is. Sometimes I have to really take a step back and be honest with myself, why am I doing what I am? I don’t always like the answer that I have to give myself.
4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,
My husband has the perfect balance of competitiveness without comparison. He doesn’t let others effect him negatively. His competitive spirit gives him motivation without being a detriment. He definitely has a solid self worth.
I am glad when I can recognized when feelings of comparison and competitiveness are affecting me negatively. When I feel myself comparing and being competitive in a negative way, I have been trying to distance myself from the source. I remind myself that the only person that I need to be competing with is who I see in the mirror. I need to focus on being a better version of myself than I was yesterday… it is not always easy.
2 Corinthians 10:12
12 We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.
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